Total pages in book: 165
Estimated words: 154925 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 775(@200wpm)___ 620(@250wpm)___ 516(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 154925 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 775(@200wpm)___ 620(@250wpm)___ 516(@300wpm)
“Try?” MaeBe asked, feeling odd standing there.
“To talk you into giving him another chance,” Ian said with all seriousness.
“I’m here to translate.” Kai wore what she liked to think of as his daytime uniform—slacks and a button-down shirt, his long hair in a neat man bun. “He’s bad at this.”
“I’m excellent at everything,” Ian countered. “Now, let’s get this part over with so I can sneak some of that meat lovers pizza my wife thinks will be bad for me.”
Ian and Charlotte were almost always in synch, with the exception of his diet. He wanted to eat like he was still twenty-two, and Charlotte steered him toward a salad every now and then.
She’d wanted that for herself and Kyle. When she thought about it, Ian and Charlotte were her relationship goals. But it turned out Kyle wasn’t his uncle, and she damn straight wasn’t Charlotte. “Kyle and I aren’t together. I don’t think we ever were. We were friends.”
“So the two of you never took the relationship past friendship? All this angst has been over two buddies who like to hang but never bang?” Ian asked, the answer patently obvious.
She wanted to tell the man it wasn’t any of his business. But it was. He’d made it his business when he’d taken care of her, taken the time to teach her how to protect herself. He’d put in the work and that meant she had to be honest with him. “I thought it was more. I thought we were working toward something special. I’ve given it a lot of thought and we kind of fell into a part-time D/s relationship. I submitted to him a lot of the time.”
“Were you submitting to him when you volunteered to be Michael’s backup in the field?” Tag asked.
“That was part of my job,” she returned.
“I could have gotten a dozen others to do that job,” Tag countered. “You wanted it. You asked me for it. Did you know Kyle would want you to stay in the office?”
“He doesn’t get to tell me what to do with my career.” She’d known Kyle would be upset, but she wasn’t about to let that man put her in a corner.
“I believe Ian is trying to point out that you weren’t and aren’t all that submissive in your daily life.” Kai added his two cents. “Like most of the women at Sanctum. I think it’s healthy to indulge both sides of your personality. So you were submissive in your intimate life.”
She had to laugh at that. “Intimate life? He wouldn’t sleep with me until the day he decided to blow his own ass up.”
Ian’s eyes didn’t leave her, but one hand came out and patted Kai’s arm. She would bet a lot that the gesture was his way of saying, see, look, I was right.
“Did you think the two were connected?” Kai ignored him, adjusting his glasses and getting that therapist vibe going.
She’d resisted his attempts to get her to come in for a session. She didn’t need therapy. Training had been her therapy. “Well, it makes a girl think.”
“MaeBe, do you believe Kyle used the fact that Julia was alive to get out of sleeping with you again?” Kai asked, his tone going soft with sympathy.
She did not want to be here, but it might do her some good to face the facts of their relationship. If she was actually going to work with Kyle, she needed to be able to function in his presence. “Logic tells me no. I don’t believe he knew she was alive when he decided he was ready to move our relationship forward. But logic isn’t the same as instinct.”
“Hah.” Ian said the word with an almost excited air. Like he’d made a discovery. “Let’s talk about instincts and how some dumbasses shouldn’t trust theirs because shit happened to them. I think you are not considering a couple of good points. The first is that my nephew has lost his fucking mind.”
Kai held up a hand. “What Ian is trying to say is that men process trauma in different ways, and it can look very different than what we typically think given that most of our mainstream media focuses on female trauma. Mostly because of all the traumatized women out there, but men experience it as well.”
So they were talking about Kyle’s instincts. “I understand that. I’m sure that last day was awful for him, but I can’t forgive what he put me through.”
“It’s not just about that last day. It’s about several episodes he doesn’t like to talk about because he’s a good man and good men shove that shit down deep,” Ian replied. “I’m proud of him for ignoring all that emotional shit.”
“Ian’s worried that despite Kyle’s loving upbringing, he was still affected by societal ideals of how men should behave. He wants Kyle to talk about what happened and also about the incident that led to him ending up in the CIA and vulnerable to a predatory woman like Julia Ennis. The word vulnerable makes Ian throw up, but I think words are important.”