Total pages in book: 50
Estimated words: 49189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 246(@200wpm)___ 197(@250wpm)___ 164(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49189 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 246(@200wpm)___ 197(@250wpm)___ 164(@300wpm)
His body told me everything without him needing to say a word.
And beyond the job, my Dad. Even Jase…I can’t help thinking that Michael Hart might actually have been hard for me.
Little ole’ short and thick Vanessa Campbell.
This feeling I have because of him isn’t just gonna go away either. If anything, despite my nerves right now, I feel hotter than a wildcat in heat. And the one thing I do know that would ‘fix’ my little problem was just pressing right up against my flabby butt.
The picture of his body is still so fresh in my mind. I have to slow my steps and focus on my breathing. Needing to make sure I don’t step out in front of traffic over the one thing I can’t unsee. The one thing I never want to unsee.
If anything, I only crave Michael Hart more than ever now.
And I’ve just blown any chance at even having that conversation with him or anyone else.
I walk until my legs ache. And finding a quiet little park bench away from the growing bustle of Saturday in the city, I practically collapse onto it.
I'm chewing my lip so hard until it’s numb while I try to think my way out of this situation.
The sounds of a baby squawking breaks my forced concentration.
A young mom is walking by pushing a stroller, but she doesn’t look worried. Her man appears from another pathway, and I see how their faces light up when they see each other.
Watching as Dad scoops the little one up, calming the infant straight away, sets my whole mind at ease somehow.
They don’t seem well off, and the Dad looks like he’s just come off shift someplace, still in a pair of work overalls. His face creased with the lines of working more than one job.
A look I see every day when I look at my own Dad’s face.
But none of that matters once their eyes lock. And with the baby held gently between them, they kiss in a way that I only thought happened in the movies or those dollar novels.
Or in the way, I know that I wanted to kiss Michael a little while ago.
Despite the shock of falling onto him and seeing him so aroused, it all just felt so…so right.
The couple doesn’t see me, and hand in hand, once the baby's snugly back in the stroller, they make their way out of the park.
Home to a life that I can tell they’ll both get through, no matter what, because they have something most people only dream about.
A dream I only realize now is the one thing I’ve always really wanted.
A chance to be the best mom and partner for my own family.
Getting everything right that my parents might have missed, and not because they didn’t love me. But because they were too busy or worried about stuff that doesn’t matter.
Because maybe they weren’t with the right person to begin with.
The crush I’ve had on Jase’s Dad is ballooning into an undeniable feeling, falling for him hard, and I wince at the memory of what’s just happened.
Even though I’ve acted like a lunatic, I still feel as if I’m only falling deeper and longer for the man.
How could I be so stupid, though? How could I just up and leave like that?
Feeling my shoulders sag and with a heavy sigh, I figure I may as well head home. Knowing I have a fifteen-minute cab ride to try and make some sense of all this.
Gimme some time to get some sort of story to tell as to why I didn’t get the job.
Our house seems smaller than usual somehow, but empty. Dad won’t be home for hours, but I can just feel Jase waiting for me to call him. To tell him how it went.
“Oh, God,” I groan aloud, slipping out of my power outfit and into my comfy track pants and an old sweater.
Jase and his Dad are close. I’m sure his Dad would’ve spelled out the whole thing for him by now, maybe leaving out the part about his remarkably great hard-on.
Or would he?
I dunno anymore. It’s not even mid-morning, and I feel like it’s four a.m.
My whole body was suddenly exhausted from what should’ve been the interview of my life.
My entry into a career, not just a job.
If it was with anyone else, any other job interview, Jase is the first person I’d be calling. He is my best friend, after all.
But because it’s his Dad. Because of my ‘too late to even try now’ scenario, I just can’t even.
Don’t be surprised if I never hear from Jase again either, genius.
Another thought that makes me groan to myself. Making me feel hurt and sad that I’ve managed to upset so many people in one day.
But nobody calls, and despite telling myself that’s a good thing, it does nothing for my rising anxiety.