Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 125135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
“Thanks for the input,” I muttered.
“That’s it?” Colby’s eyes widened. “You’re not going to say anything else?”
“Nope.” I fiddled with my cards. “I need to keep my thoughts to myself. I’ve had diarrhea of the mouth enough. I don’t need you guys busting my balls. I shouldn’t have even asked the damn question. But I’ve felt like I’m going out of my mind since Warren showed up.”
“God, this brings new meaning to the phrase lost in La-la Land,” Owen chided. “That’s exactly where your head has been lately.”
“Yeah. No shit.” I laughed along with the other guys.
Thankfully, they got off my back for a while as we started our game, and the cards kept us relatively focused until Colby ended up winning.
When we took a break, I went into the kitchen. Colby followed.
He lowered his voice. “Hey, man, I just wanted to talk to you one on one for a bit.”
“There’s nothing more to say.”
“What you said you did last weekend, how you acted out at the club, it reminded me of the time I made a fool of myself when Billie was on that date—before she and I officially got together. Remember that night? You saw her at the restaurant with the guy and texted me photos. I made the biggest idiot of myself by texting her jealous rants. My feelings were splayed out everywhere like a rodent flattened by a truck. There was nothing I could do to stop myself that night. That’s what jealousy does when you really care about someone. What you did was no different.” He tossed his trash in the garbage. “Here’s the thing… I never got anywhere by doing shit like that, dancing around my feelings for her. Ultimately, I had to be straightforward.”
I nodded. “Easier said than done.”
“I had some of the same issues with Billie that you do with Lala. Not only were we seemingly opposites, but I never felt like I was quite right for her. Of course, there was also the issue of me having a kid.” He sighed. “Yet we still couldn’t stay away from each other. We just went around in circles until we started to communicate in an honest way. I think you’ve gone long enough doing the same dance with Lala.”
“I always get in trouble when I dance with Lala,” I muttered.
“Once she marries him, dude, that’s it,” Colby said. “There’s no going back after that. Lala strikes me as the type of person who’s going to do whatever she can to make a marriage work. I don’t see her getting divorced, although anything is possible.” He exhaled. “I know it’s strange for me to be encouraging you to go for it, but I care about both of you. While I’ll always want to protect her, I don’t know that you’re going to shake this. I’m starting to believe you have true feelings for her. And as your friend, I think you need to take your shot.”
He’s supporting this? A pressure I’d never felt before built within my chest. “Say I take the chance and take my shot. That doesn’t change who I am, though. I’m not the type of guy who settles down, who lives in a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence. Everything I’ve ever worked toward has been about having a music career and being on the road. I don’t think it’s fair for me to tell her how I feel if I can’t be the type of guy she needs.”
Colby shrugged. “Well, that’s certainly a decision you’re going to have to make. I think you have to decide whether you’re willing to give up some of those dreams. Or maybe you’ll find you don’t have to choose. The bottom line is, there won’t be a choice soon if you continue to play games.” He nodded. “But you’re afraid. I get it.”
It was more than just fear. I had a moral obligation to protect Lala from me. “I’m not safe, Colby.”
He shrugged again. “The safe choice isn’t always the right one. That’s something I’ve learned with my own relationship. Billie was not the type of woman I thought would ever want to settle down with a guy like me. She was wild and free-spirited, and I didn’t want to hold her back. We were the dangerous choice for each other—but ultimately, our feelings superseded everything. And we learned to make it work.”
“Just to confirm… Are you saying you’re okay with me expressing these feelings to Ryan’s sister? Because you always used to be against the idea of me and her.”
He smiled. “You can call it cautious support. I see things a little differently now, how pervasive your feelings for her have been. That counts for something. From everything you’ve shown me, you seem to really care about her. Moreover, you told me you haven’t been with another woman since she got here? That says a lot.”