Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
“Not unless I have the sudden urge to be kept awake all night.”
Kate sighed. “You can’t live like this forever, bringing home women you barely even talk to.”
“I have no interest in anything more.”
“That’s because you’re intentionally not letting the right people in,” she scolded.
“I appreciate your opinion, but I know what I need, and it’s not a relationship.”
“Britney would want you to find happiness. You know that, right?”
Britney would want to be alive. That’s what she would want. I cleared my throat. “Anyway, what brings you to town? You couldn’t possibly have come over this early to chastise me about my personal life.”
They looked at each other.
Suspicious, I lifted a brow. “What’s going on?”
Kate set her cup down. “There is something we want to talk to you about.”
“Alright…” I took a sip.
“We came to London for the hospital fundraiser, but we figured we’d kill two birds with one stone while we were here.” She paused. “Phil and I have been talking, and…” She took a deep breath. “We’d like to use one of the eggs. We think it’s time.”
I nearly spit out my tea, and the room swayed as the meaning of eggs registered. I knew my wife had frozen her eggs before she’d started cancer treatments. That was before we’d even met. She’d mentioned it to me, and it had always been at the back of my mind, but I tried not to think about it. The eggs on ice were something she and I had only talked about in the context of us having a child together once she got through treatments—alive. I couldn’t fathom any other use for those eggs.
I sat in silence as Kate continued.
“We’ve debated it for a long while. Britney was our only child. We’re in our late fifties, so obviously I can’t have another biological child, but we’d like to raise our grandchild.”
“You think this is what she would want? For her child to come into the world without its mother? Britney had intended to be around for that child when she harvested her eggs.”
“Yes, I know.” Kate nodded. “But when it became clearer to us that she might not make it, I asked what she wanted me to do with them. She said she wasn’t opposed to the thought of living on through a child. She signed the eggs over to us, but she made me promise I would clear it with you first. She didn’t want us to do anything to upset you. That seemed to be a dealbreaker.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Why didn’t she mention any of this to me?”
“I don’t think she ever wanted to believe she wouldn’t be around, Sig. I had to bring up the subject. Because it had to be discussed, knowing she was likely going to…”
Die.
My stomach knotted. How could I, in good conscience, keep this from happening if it was what Britney wanted? There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. This would be a chance for my wife to live again, indirectly—or at least a part of her. If her parents were willing to care for the child, who was I to stop them? It didn’t feel like my decision to make, even if Britney had been adamant about my approval.
I rubbed my thumb along the mug. “So, you’re looking for my permission…”
“Well, not just your permission.” She paused. “We want you to be the father, of course.”
Oh.
Fuck.
Why the hell hadn’t that occurred to me? If I’d thought the room was swaying before, it was spinning now.
“No,” I said, starting to perspire.
“No?” Phil arched a brow. “You’d rather we use a random man’s sperm?”
Uh…
No.
My stomach turned. When he put it that way, I couldn’t imagine any other man fathering the child. “No way would I allow that.”
“Then using your sperm is the only option,” Kate said. “But if you don’t want to, we won’t. We won’t move ahead with anything.”
“Just to clarify again, you wouldn’t have to raise this baby, Sig,” Phil added. “It would be ours. But at the same time, if you ever decided you wanted to raise it, we wouldn’t stand in the way. We’d fully help raise him or her and give them the best life we possibly can.”
My chair skidded as I got up. “Excuse me. I need a moment.”
I went to my room and sat on the edge of the bed. With my head in my hands, I took a moment to ground myself. I would’ve given anything to go back just an hour, when I was listening to rhinoceros sounds and not dealing with the bomb they’d dropped.
The thought of having a child without Britney here was excruciatingly painful. To know she’d never have a chance to experience being a mother. But I had to trust that Kate was telling the truth about Britney’s last wishes.