Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96833 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 323(@300wpm)
Lavinia grinned over at me. “I’ll grab the Fireball!”
She knew damn well that my parents hated Fireball. The four of us got a good laugh out of that.
With this difficult discussion behind me, you’d think I would’ve breathed a sigh of relief. But tension seized my chest, tighter by the minute. “…back to the States,” she’d said.
CHAPTER 44
* * *
Abby
Track 44: “Ghost” by Justin Bieber
I held baby Eli in my arms. “I can’t believe how big he is already.”
“I know.” Felicity smiled over at her son. “He changes every day.”
Eli, now four months old, had dark blond hair like his father. For some reason, I’d assumed the baby would end up a redhead like Felicity and his sister.
Little Eloise was busy in the corner, playing with her toy kitchen set. I watched as she placed plastic muffins into the oven.
Felicity crossed her legs. “I can’t believe you came here practically right after you landed.”
“Yeah. My stomach and I barely fit in the Fiat now.” I chuckled. “But it was worth dealing with the tight squeeze just to escape.”
“I can’t imagine how awkward it was to meet his parents for the first time that way.”
“I said what I needed to say and got the hell out of there. I’m sure they probably thought I was rude, but it’s what I needed.”
“I think it was brave that you stood up for yourself. And I’m so glad you chose to come hang out with us. I’ve been lonely with Leo gone for the day. So this is perfect.”
When the baby got fidgety in my arms, I went over to hand him back to her on the couch.
“Can I pry?” Felicity asked as she rocked him and I sat back down.
I rubbed my hands along my belly. “Okay…”
“We spent a lot of time with Sig over Christmas. He told us you’d been acting a bit differently recently. He seemed worried. It was the first time I realized how serious things had gotten between you. Are you regretting that?”
Felicity and I had kept in touch over the phone while I was back in Rhode Island, so she knew I’d become more than just a surrogate to Sig. But I hadn’t told her anything about the current state of my head. And I hadn’t told Sig, either.
“The only thing I regret is falling in love with him, Felicity.”
She smiled empathetically. “Oh, honey… I’m sorry. I didn’t know your feelings had evolved that much.”
I nodded. “I love him. I love him so much. Even being around him today…that was part of the reason I needed a breather. It was overwhelming to see him after so much time apart and realize my feelings hadn’t diminished even a little.”
“I know he cares about you, too,” she said.
Her choice of words stung a little. “That’s the thing. I know he cares about me. But I need more. I won’t accept anything less than his full heart. And if he can’t give me that, I don’t think we’d ever stand a chance.”
“Have you told him you love him?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want him to feel obligated if he doesn’t feel the same.” A flash of panic set in. “And please, don’t mention to anyone that we had this conversation.”
“I won’t.” She shook her head. “I’ll admit, Leo and I talk about you guys a lot. But if you’re specifically telling me not to say anything, I won’t. You have my word.”
“Thank you.”
“Anyway, why do you think that he’s incapable of giving you his whole heart?”
“It’s not that I think it. I know it, Felicity.”
“He told you that?”
“Not me.”
“I’m confused.”
I looked behind my shoulder to make sure Nathan, the house manager, wasn’t in the vicinity and lowered my voice, “I haven’t told anyone this. So again, I need your utmost discretion.”
“Okay…”
Breathing in, I let it out. “He’s been writing to her. All this time.”
Her brows knitted. “Who?”
“Britney.”
“Britney…”
“Yes. Her parents gave me her old laptop when they found out mine stopped working. When I tried to log into my email for the first time, it opened straight up to Britney’s account. And there were messages from him. The most recent one was from, like, the day before, and they went all the way back to right after she died.”
“You read them all?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I read one. Then I stopped myself. I know it’s terrible, and I shouldn’t have done it. I have no business reading his private thoughts to her. I told myself I could read one just to understand the gist of why he was writing her, and I wouldn’t read any more.”
“Okay…what did you see?”
“I clicked on a random email that was sort of in the middle. In his message, he counted the number of days she’d been gone, and he told her how he thinks of her every minute of every day. And he wanted her to know…” I hesitated.