Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 91149 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 456(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91149 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 456(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
I kiss her because I can’t allow her to say it. I can’t and probably won’t ever be able to accept that I failed her in this way. She is right about Gianni in that he wasn’t completely worthless. If he hadn’t been there, Sergei would have taken her away from me.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I should have done more to protect you, but zvezda, you should know that I would have never let you go.”
She curls into my chest, breathing me in. “What happened to Nonna?”
“She’s gone,” I answer. “And she won’t be coming back. She betrayed me for Sergei, and so did the guard. But they are all gone now.”
She looks up at me with cloudy eyes. “Sergei is dead?”
I nod. Someday, we will speak of it, but it won’t be today. I have no intention of inviting that darkness into the new chapter of our life. But Tanaka is quick to remind me that there is still darkness between us.
“My father is dead,” she says. “Isn’t he?”
Lying to her would be easy, but it isn’t what I want. I need her to love the darkest parts of me. I need her to love me when I’m at my worst.
“Yes, my sweet. I’m sorry, but he is dead too.”
“I thought so,” she says. “And you killed him?”
“Yes.”
I think that there will certainly be more, but instead, she lays her head against my chest and falls to sleep.
I find Nika on the dock, face up to the sky. He’s watching the stars, and I would give anything to know what he’s thinking at this moment. The world stands still, and I find that I can breathe again as my eyes move over the man who came into my life like a wrecking ball.
He’s wearing a white button-down, gray slacks, and his motorcycle boots. A silent laugh shakes my chest when I think about how much I hated those boots the first time I saw him. Now, I know that it’s just Nika. I love his bullheaded, boorish ways, and I’m probably crazy for it.
I take a breath and utter the most important words of my life. “I’m ready.”
He turns to look at me, nostrils flaring. Warmth spreads through me, and I smooth my hands over the gauzy white fabric.
“It’s a beautiful dress.” I swish back and forth.
“The dress is nice,” he agrees. “But I’m looking at you, Nakya. Only you.”
He insisted I wear white, and I insisted that I didn’t want a fuss. This dress was our compromise. Light and breezy, it’s perfect for our beach nuptials.
“I regret that I’m the only one who gets to see it,” he says.
“The minister will see it. And Mischa too.”
Nika moves into my space, tipping my chin up with his fingers. “Trying to make me jealous?”
“What is there to be jealous of?” I ask. “You will be my husband tonight. I will have your star on my hand. We will be together, and everyone else is just white noise.”
He growls into my mouth. Nikolai loves the idea of being my husband, but I think he still feels some regret too. The Vory way would be to show me off. To have a grand, extravagant wedding in front of all his brothers. But when he confided that we would need to be married before our return to Massachusetts, I was relieved to tell him that I wanted no part of a big wedding. It isn’t for anyone else. Just us. And it doesn’t get any more private than having our own beach in the Florida Keys. For the next five days, we will do nothing but sleep, and eat, and make love in our bungalow over the water. It’s perfect, and it’s important that he knows I wouldn’t have it any other way. It doesn’t matter where we get married. It doesn’t even matter how. All that matters is that we do. When we go back home, Viktor will give us his approval, and our lives can go on.
I know what I’m signing up for. Life with Nikolai won’t always be a fairy tale, and once I’m in, there aren’t any take backs. But if I’m going to do hard time, I want to do it with him.
“I’m ready,” I say again.
Nikolai takes his time pawing at me before he finally gestures for Mischa and the minister to come down to the beach.
Against the backdrop of the water, and beneath all the stars in the sky, we say our vows. They are simple, and they are traditional in the mafia way.
Nikolai vows to protect, cherish, provide for, and remain faithful to me for all the days of his life. He vows to let no other woman come between us and also adds that he will ensure my health, even when I might not like it. When we fight, and we will fight, he declares that we will use our words and not our fears to work things out.