Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
“You know what I need?” She’s sitting next to me, but today’s outfit of black leggings and a sweater is the total opposite of last night. She piled her hair on her head, and she wore her sunglasses the whole time.
“What do you need?” I ask her even though I know I shouldn’t.
“A burger,” she answers. “A greasy burger. A burger so greasy it’s running down your arms.”
“What are you two doing?” Zara says, coming back in. “I have been waiting for you two at the service desk.” She looks at me. “I put in a rush for the suit so it will be done by tomorrow, and the rest will be delivered by Thursday.”
“Zara,” Zoe says from beside me. “I want a greasy burger.”
“Oh, God,” she says. “I was just telling Evan that. We should hit up that Firestones. I’m going to tell Evan,” she says, leaving, and Zoe stands up and looks at me.
“Are you coming with?” she asks, looking down at me. I think about hitting up a meeting instead. “Did you have other plans?”
“I was going to hit up a meeting,” I tell her. “You know, before I go away.”
“Oh my God,” she says softly, sitting down next to me. She rips off the glasses. “Is it because I got drunk last night?” Her eyes almost look like she is tearing up, and worry fills her face.
“No.” I shake my head and put my hand around her shoulder to bring her closer to me. “It has nothing to do with you.” I smell her right away, almost like a field of berries, and my mouth suddenly goes dry.
“Are you sure?” she says softly.
“I thought we went through this,” I say. “I don’t like you like that.” She turns and pushes away from me. Her touch stays on me long after she stops touching me.
“You’re a jerkface,” she says, angry.
“I leave tomorrow,” I tell her, “and even though temptation is everywhere, it is usually stronger on the road.”
“Do you have someone you can call?” she asks me, and I nod. “Why don’t you call him?”
“It’s Sunday, and I don’t really want to bother him, so I was just going to go to a meeting.” I tell her the truth. “But I could hit up a meeting after I have one of those burgers.”
“Yeah,” she says. “Are you sure?”
“I think I’ll be good. Worst case, I tap out early,” I tell her, getting up and holding out my hand for her. This is what friends do, right? “Let’s go get some grease into you, so you can get back to normal.” Turning, we walk out of the room. And when her hand slides out of mine, my hand itches to take it back.
“I swear, never ever again,” she says, putting her glasses back on. “Ever.”
* * *
When it’s finally my turn, I start. “I’ve been clean for one hundred and twenty-two days,” I say, thinking about what a milestone it is for me. “But tomorrow, I leave town and,” I say, and my hands suddenly shake just a touch, so I rub them down my thighs, “I’m worried I’m not strong enough not to go out searching for it.” I look around the room and see a couple of people nod their head like they know how that feels. “I’m just scared,” I tell them, and then the next person speaks. I stay until the end and walk out into the crisp air of New York; it’s starting to get a bit chilly at night.
I decide to grab a cab instead of walk, and as soon as I flag one down and get in, my phone buzzes. Taking it out of my pocket, I see that it’s from Zoe.
Zoe: Hey, so I found out that you were going to Philly, and I did a little research. These are some meetings next to your hotel. Just in case.
I shake my head. This woman. She went out of her way to get me the name of meetings near me. She didn’t feel sorry for me when I told her. No, she first blames herself, and then she helped me. I smile at the phone and see the three dots pop up and then go away. She’s either texting me, or she’s erasing everything. I look down, and this time, something comes through.
Zoe: That was pushy, right? I didn’t mean to be pushy. Just trying to help. I’ll stop now.
I look out the window as I think of what to text and finally just go with my gut.
Me: Not pushy, very thoughtful. You should stop doing things like that, or I might think you have a crush on me.
I laugh at that and then laugh more when she answers me.
Zoe: Barf.
I don’t bother answering her. Instead, I get home and take a shower, then slip into bed. Lying down, I look up at the ceiling, then turn and get comfortable and wait for sleep to take me. I don’t sleep as good as I have been. I go a full four hours before I wake up in a puddle of sweat. I get up and strip down the bed and look at the clock to see it’s 2:00 a.m. I grab my phone and go to the movie room and play a movie. Sometime during the middle, I doze off, only waking at six a.m. right before my alarm is going to go off.