Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 127476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127476 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 637(@200wpm)___ 510(@250wpm)___ 425(@300wpm)
I know the shame and the turmoil.
I know how it feels to love someone you shouldn't.
I fell in love with her.
It was my worst nightmare.
But sometimes nightmares are simply fueled by fear... fear of something we don't understand. A clown isn't scary when it takes off its makeup. A monster isn't so terrifying when you turn on the light. My enemy was my enemy until I looked inside of her and realized we weren't so different, after all.
She talks to me about regret, but what she doesn't realize is that even if she destroys me in the end, I'll never want to erase what we have. I'd never want to take back a single moment of this.
I'm not heartless—my heart is just hardened, while the rest of me is hollow. But she breathes life into what long ago stopped trying to live.
She's oxygen, and without her, I'm dead.
Her eyes dart to the floor as her head lowers even more. My hand trails further up, cupping her chin so she'll meet my gaze. "I know how you feel."
"Do you?"
"I told you before—I like you, and that's a problem for me."
"Have you found a solution to that problem yet?"
I smile, my thumb gently caressing her face. "I have."
She's silent for a few beats before she whispers, "What is it?"
"Marrying you."
All at once her expression shifts as she rolls her eyes. "How is that a solution?"
"Well, you won't be a Rita anymore."
As soon as I say it, she pushes against my chest, catching me off guard as she slips around me. I reach out and catch her wrist, holding her there before she can walk away.
She spins back in my direction, sighing exasperatedly.
I can't help it.
My cock twitches as the sound comes from her lips.
"I'll always be who I am, Ignazio," she says seriously. I hate when she calls me that name but once again my cock twitches. She's furious. And that? I fucking love it. "You could drain every drop of blood from my body and it wouldn't change anything. It's in my cells. My body. It's in me, every single part of me."
She yanks her arm from my grasp, but she stands there, not walking away.
"I'm not going to marry you because I'm a Rita. That's not a solution. I'd rather you just kill me now if that's all this is to you... if it's just some stupid alternative to ending my life. When I marry you, it'll be despite that fact, just like I'm here with you right now despite it."
She's upset, ranting, and continues to go on and on, but I'm caught on something she said seconds ago.
When I marry you...
Not an if.
A when.
I catch myself smiling, and she catches it, too. Eyes narrowed, scowling, she spits venom at me in the form of scathing words. "What the hell do you find so amusing?"
"You," I admit, laughing and stopping her when she tries to walk away from me again. "Ah, don't be that way. It's your fault, really, for being so beautiful when you get angry."
"You're crazy."
"I am," I say. "You make me that way."
There's no arguing that fact.
She merely glares at me.
"Come on," I say pulling her closer. "I want to know what turns you on. Is it role playing?"
She slowly shakes her head.
"Threesomes?"
She scrunches up her nose. Thank God. I'm not sure I could share this woman with anyone.
"Dirty talk?"
She lifts a shoulder in a half shrug as her cheeks flush. I take that as a 'yes'.
"Being watched?"
There's the reaction I've been waiting on, the flush extending down her neck, her lips twitching as she averts her eyes.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
I pull on her, and she doesn't resist, letting me slip my hand into hers and lead her outside, onto the balcony. It's near dusk, the sky a vibrant pink and orange swirl that's slowly fading into darkness. I pause on the balcony and gaze at her, eyes raking down her body.
This is going to be fun.
Letting go of her, I take a step back, holding my hands up to stop her before she follows me. Her brow furrows, but she listens, watching me warily as I take another step and sit down on an oversize lounge chair, long and wide enough that I can stretch my legs out and still have plenty of room.
I settle in, relaxing back, and kick my shoes off before looking at her again.
She's fidgeting nervously. Good.
"Strip."
The word sets her face on fire, cheeks bright red, eyes widened with shock. "What?"
"Strip," I say again. "Take your clothes off."
She doesn't move an inch. "I thought you wanted to play around, that we would..." Her eyes dart toward the glass doors leading back into the room. "That you'd, you know..."
"Playing around isn't always about me. I was rough on you last night. Tonight we'll try something different."
"Oh."
That's all she says, like she never considered we could play around any other way that didn't involve violence.
I nod toward her as I say the word for the third time. "Strip."
This time she doesn't question it.
Reaching down, she grasps the bottom of her dress and quickly pulls it over her head before letting it drop to the floor, leaving her in a strapless black bra and a matching thong. She kicks off her shoes before hesitating, eyeing me questioningly.
I nod, encouraging her to go on.
The bra hits the patio floor within seconds before she hooks her thumbs on the sides of her thong, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes as she yanks them down. She stands there afterward, completely naked, but positions her arms in front of her in an attempt to shield her body.
I just stare at her, taking in every curve that she'll let me see.
She fidgets more from the unabashed attention.
"Well?" she says, a bite to her words. "Are you happy now?"
Huh. Defensive.
I like it.
"Very," I confess. "Although, your stripping skills could use a bit of work."
"Yeah, well, excuse the fuck out of me. You just said take them off... wasn't aware I was supposed to put on some Def Leppard and make a show of it."