Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 96712 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96712 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Damon stands to leave. “I’ll get started on your Chicago paperwork. Unless you can think of a reason to stay in New York and retire from football after all?”
I don’t know what to say to that. If it comes to picking between football and Noah, I don’t know if I’m ready to make that decision. But if he asked me to be with him—give up the NFL and stay for him—I don’t think I’d be able to say no.
I’m so gone for this guy.
“Think about it and tell Noah how you feel. Let me know what you decide.”
Sure, because putting your heart on the line is that fucking easy.
Chapter Twenty
Noah
After meeting with one of the hosts of Rainbow Beds and getting a better idea of what I’d need to do to make the forum into a charity and turn it successful, I walk in the door to my townhouse and am almost bowled over by Jet coming the other way.
“Whoa, where’s the fire?” I ask.
“Matt told me to go away for a few hours. You’re either in trouble or about to get laid, and I don’t want to be here for either, so I’m out.”
“Uh, okay. Umm … see ya.” I remain at the entrance, wondering what I could’ve done to piss Matt off but come up blank. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything though. Oblivious should be my middle name. Plus, I tend to do douchey things without realizing.
Inside is quiet when I grow the balls to make myself walk in farther. “Matt?”
“Bedroom,” he calls out.
I amble up the stairs, still confused, and I find Matt pacing the carpet of our—my bedroom. “Okay, what’s going on?” I ask.
Matt stalls and stares at me. His mouth opens but nothing comes out.
“You’re doing the stroking out thing you did when we first met.”
“Where were you?” he asks.
“Meeting with some people about the project. Why?”
He shakes his head. “Nothin’. Don’t matter.”
Don’t matter. Why’s his accent coming out? “What’s wrong?” I ask.
Matt fakes a smile and steps toward me. “Just want you.” He wastes no time as he ditches his shirt and then hooks his fingers into my belt loops and brings me against him. “Missed you.”
Missed me? He saw me this morning.
I’m still confused when our lips come together and his domineering tongue forces its way into my mouth. The Matt I know is passionate, but the aggression behind the kiss is desperate. Too desperate. A hand grips my hip tight, and the other snakes around my back to pull me closer.
My cock gets excited and wants to dive in, but my brain tells me there’s something wrong.
“Matt.” I try to back up, but he comes with me and kisses me again. I break away. “Matt.”
“I want this. Us.”
I stumble back. “Oh.” Is he saying what I think he’s saying, or am I reading into it because they’re the words I crave to hear?
“Wait, before you freak out, I mean I want this afternoon to be just us.”
My heart deflates. “I’m confused.”
“I … I saw Damon today.”
Realization cuts through my gut, and I want to vomit. “You’re moving to Chicago.”
His nod is subtle, but the slight movement is still enough to rip a hole in my fucking chest.
I force a small smile. “I think I’m supposed to say congratulations or whatever.”
“Unless …” He looks away. “Unless there’s a reason for me to stay here.” His voice goes up at the end, almost as if it’s a question, but at the same time it sounds like a statement.
Now’s the time to lay it out there. I want him to pick me. Love me. Make me his life instead of football. Then I recoil at the notion. I have no right asking anyone to choose me, even if I desperately want them to.
I didn’t mean to fall for Matt, and I never in a million years expected to, but I care for him more than I care about myself and that’s never happened to me before. Except maybe with Nathaniel and look at how well that turned out.
“There isn’t a single reason to give up football.” I hate that I can’t tell the guy how much I want him to stay, but if I forced him to do that, he’d eventually resent me. He can’t give up his career for someone he has no future with. And I’m not under any illusion that we’d make it in the long run.
Dad’s been vocal about not wanting us together. It’s only a matter of time before he makes a move and Matt does what Nathaniel did to me.
This is the right call.
“So, this is it then,” Matt says.
“No. Nowhere near it.” I pull him forward by his belt and bring him against me again. “We have until you go. And then public appearances. We won’t be together, but I want to keep seeing you.”