Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 45210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45210 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
The woman, Nancy I think her name is, searches my face and then holds her finger up. “Give me a minute.”
I watch her disappear into Dr. Kline’s office, and she’s only gone a few seconds before coming back out. “She has a few minutes. You can go on in.”
I nod my head at her and tell her thanks before going into the doctor’s office. I hear the door shut behind me, and I sit heavily in the chair across the desk from the doctor. “She’s here.”
Dr. Kline shakes her head. “Who’s here?”
“Emerson. Randall’s daughter. She’s here.”
The woman’s eyes light up. “Oh, she’s in Whiskey Run?”
“No… I mean yes, she’s in Whiskey Run, but she’s here. She’s staying with me, and she’s working for me.”
She blinks at me, but her expression is guarded. “Oh.”
I nod and jump up from my seat to pace. Yeah, pacing makes me feel better, so I walk back and forth, glancing out the window. Fuck me, there she is. From this spot in the window, there’s a perfect view of the gardens, and there is Emerson, already working on digging up weeds. With my palms pressed to the window, all I can do is watch her work.
I don’t even realize that the doctor came to stand next to me. “Have you told her how you feel?”
Fuck, there’s no denying it. I know since I’ve been here, I’ve been more open with her than with anyone. I haven’t tried to hold back or hide anything because holding it in for two years was just too damn much. It was killing me.
“No, I haven’t told her. And I haven’t told her about her dad either.”
“What do you think you need to tell her about her dad, Kanan? That you tried to save him and were unsuccessful? I’m sure she knows that.”
I force my eyes off Emerson and turn to the doctor. She’s standing with her arms crossed over her chest challenging me, and I shrug. “I need her to know everything. I have to tell her and after that, nothing else will matter. She won’t want to be anywhere near me.”
“Kanan, if she’s half the woman you claim she is, she won’t be going anywhere. She’ll see through your guilt for what it is.”
“I don’t deserve—”
She stops me with her hand held up. “And that right there is your holdup. I’ve told you once, and I’ll tell you a hundred times. You’re living with survivor's guilt, Kanan. You think you don’t deserve to be happy, you’re eaten up with guilt, and you have to find a way to get past it.”
I plant my feet and match her stance, arms over my chest. “I don’t deserve to be happy.”
She lifts her shoulders. “Then tell her. Tell her what happened the day her dad died. At least get that off your conscience.”
“I am. I’m going to tell her.”
She leans over to the look out the window. “She’s right there. What’s stopping you?”
I can’t resist. I go back to the window to watch Emerson. “She’s having a rough time. Her mom left and took her money, and she got kicked out of school and has nowhere to go. I need to help her get her life back together… and then I’ll tell her.”
We stand here, side by side, watching Emerson work. I see the guys watching her, and it pisses me off. I guess Ricardo’s warning wasn’t enough. I’ll have to let them know too.
“Okay, Kanan. I have an appointment soon. Can I just leave you with this?”
I don’t answer her because I know she’s going to tell me anyway.
“When you finally talk to her about this, tell her everything and then listen to what she has to say. You may be surprised.”
I nod my head. “Okay. I can do that.” I would do that anyway. I figure after I tell her, she’s going to have quite a bit to say to me.
She walks back over to her chair. “Okay, now get outta here. I’ll see you at our scheduled meeting later this week.”
“Thanks, Doc,” I tell her as I walk out of her office. I nod at Nancy when I pass her and then I keep walking. There’s a thousand things on my to-do list, and there’s plenty I can do on the other side of the compound. I won’t even have to see Emerson the rest of the day if I don’t want to, but I’m a fool because I know exactly where I’m going when I leave here. I’m going straight to the gardens. I can say it’s to check on progress, but I’d be lying. I’m going to check on Emerson.
CHAPTER 12
EMERSON
“I brought you lunch.” I look up and Brooklyn is coming toward me, with her arms full of bags.
I get up from my knees from where I’ve been pulling weeds. After wiping my hands on my pants, I run toward her. “Brooklyn!”