Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 91864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
It was as if my bones had lost their density. I could hardly hold myself up. I’d needed that, needed to hear it. “I love him too.”
“I know you do. I’m excited to help plan the wedding,” she teased and for the first time since I sat in the ambulance, I chuckled.
She nodded toward the wall and we both walked over, sat on the damn floor and leaned against it.
“I had Sean in this hospital. Did you know that?” she asked and I nodded.
“We actually realized it when we were talking one day. We were born in the same hospital two days apart. We were likely here at the same time because I had been an emergency C-section. My heart rate kept dropping and I wasn’t doing so well when I was first born, so they kept me for almost a week. My…” I closed my eyes, tried to fight back the pain, tried to fight back the urge to walk away instead of talk. “My mom stayed. I remember her telling me she got discharged but she wouldn’t leave me.”
She’d loved me too much.
When Barbara didn’t reply, I turned to look at her. Tears pooled in her blue eyes again. Her hand had raised and she held it in front of her mouth. It was shaking.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
“Your mom’s name…was it Lily?” she asked.
I could hardly hear her over the beat of my pulse in my ear. “Lilianna.”
She began crying harder then. I wrapped my arm around her to comfort her as my mind ran wild with the need for her to explain.
“I met her,” she finally said after minutes went by. “I swear to God, Ethan. I met her. I was walking the halls with Sean. I needed to move. I was going crazy in that room. A woman approached me and told me he was beautiful. She asked his name and I said Sean. She said she’d just had a boy too and his name was Ethan.”
I couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. It was as if I was frozen in place. Barbara had met my mother?
“She told me about the C-section. She wasn’t supposed to be walking but she was. She was going stir crazy just like me. We walked and talked. I…Oh, God, Ethan. She showed you to me. Told me you were strong and she knew you’d be okay. She was so happy, so proud when she spoke about you. She said…” She closed her eyes but I still couldn’t do anything. Couldn’t respond or comfort her. I needed to hear every word she had to say.
“She said she’d never been happier. That she’d never wanted anything more than to be your mom. We spoke for a few more moments. She had an infectious personality, like you. I remember I wanted to hang on to every one of her words. She said, ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if they were friends one day?’ I told her it would. Your dad came then and I felt like I was intruding. I told her I should go. She looked at Sean, rubbed his bald head and I swear to God, Ethan, I’m not making this up. She said, ‘They’ll be friends and we’ll remember this day and laugh about it.’ She laughed but I didn’t. I don’t know why, but I never forgot that day. I told Johnnie about it when I got back to the room.”
I didn’t know what to say at that. It was unbelievable. One of those things you see on television that made you roll your eyes because it didn’t happen in reality…only it had happened. They’d met. My mother had said we’d be friends and then one day, thirty-three years later, I’d gone to a gay bar for the first time and Sean had saved me and he’d become more to me than my mom could ever have known.
He’d become everything.
“Barbara? Are you guys okay?” Johnnie asked.
She looked at me and smiled. “Yeah, or at least it will be. I need some fresh air. Can you stay with Sean, Ethan?” she asked and I knew she didn’t need air. I knew she did this for me.
“Yes,” I replied. Johnnie helped her up and they walked away. When they disappeared from sight, I walked into the room, climbed into bed with him and told him, “You can’t die, Ninja.” It was the first time I’d let myself talk to him, just like I’d never let myself talk to my parents at the cemetery either.
“There are too many things I still have to beat you at. Did I tell you I used to play basketball? I’m fucking incredible at it. You can’t die because we haven’t played yet. I also haven’t cooked all my favorites for you yet. You need to try everything I’m especially good at. I want to challenge you to a wrestling rematch. You have to know I wanted you to win that day.” I smiled, fucking smiled. “God, I love you,” I told him. “We have so much fun together. You can’t die because we haven’t had enough of it yet.” I kissed his cheek. “I have to tell you something but I’m not going to tell you until you wake up. Please…I need you to wake up, Ninja.”