Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 73663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“Bye, baby.”
I take Stefania’s arm and lead her from the office. She’s scowling at me. “He tells you stuff in there, doesn’t he? About the Famiglia?”
“A little bit,” I admit. “I think he’s keeping the worst of it from me though.”
“I wish he’d tell me anything. I swear, they box me out.”
“It’s a male chauvinist thing. Don’t give me that look, I’m smart too, you know.”
“I know that.” Stefania’s face softens. “I like that he calls you baby. He really loves you, huh?”
“He really does. Now come on, let’s get some dirt under those fingernails.”
She sighs, but she follows me outside.
Chapter 40
Maddie
Four Months Later
I’m so tired.
My head feels like a balloon. My eyes are swollen sausages. Everything hurts. My boobs ache. My nipples are chapped from feeding all the damn time.
I never get to pump because Ruby’s eating constantly.
She’s huge. Seriously. She’s the biggest freaking newborn in the entire world. Shoving her out between my legs was the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my life.
I rock back and forth on the back porch. It’s a little past five in the morning and the sun’s starting to rise. I’m wrapped in blankets and Ruby’s feeding as always. Nobody else is around—the house is quiet and asleep, except for the few guards still roaming around on patrol. The Rossi house remains a fortress.
“I can’t believe I was going to give you up,” I whisper to my little baby girl. I can see Renzo in her nose and her eyes. I see myself in her mouth—and my sister in her cheeks and jaw.
My perfect little girl.
I don’t know how I ever thought I could give birth then give her away. I understand there are lots of women out there that have to go through that, and I wish they had some better options. All I know is, it would’ve killed me, letting Renzo and his family raise my girl without me actively in the picture.
Motherhood was never top of my priority list, but now that Ruby’s here, my life changed completely.
All my time is devoted to her.
“You should’ve gotten me up.” Renzo appears in the back door. He’s rubbing sleep from his eyes and wearing joggers and a tight t-shirt. My husband is beautiful as always, even fresh from bed. He walks over, kisses my cheek, then kisses Ruby’s head. She barely stirs, too busy feeding to acknowledge her father.
He takes the chair next to mine.
“I figured you couldn’t do anything anyway, so I might as well le you get rest.”
“I told you, we’re in this together.”
“I’m not the one running a gang war, so I thought maybe you should stay well rested.”
He waves a hand at that. “I have plenty of soldiers and Capos to pick up any slack. You are my priority. You and Ruby.”
I make a little soft hum of happiness as I rock my little girl. She’s slowing down now and getting ready to sleep. “I love hearing you say that, you know.”
“What? That you’re my priority? It’s the truth.”
“No, I mean, our daughter’s name.”
“Ruby.” He smiles and watches our little one wriggle. “I love saying it. My Ruby. My daughter.”
“Did you think things would be this different?” I ask him, not looking up from her perfect little face. “Back when we started.”
“I knew having a kid would be a change, but I didn’t expect this. It’s hard to really prepare for it.”
“But it’s good, right?” I glance at him, a little worried that the added strain of fatherhood is getting to him.
He smiles at me though. “It’s so good.”
I have to admit, despite the rough nights, he seems so much lighter than he did even a few weeks ago. The war’s still dragging on and all his usual stresses are still gnawing at him—except ever since Ruby came into our lives, he seems more focused, more present. Happier, less pent-up.
“Do you know why? I mean, this is really hard.”
“Really hard,” he agrees. “But having Ruby here brings everything into focus. I can see what really matters, and it’s you and my little girl. The other stuff is important, and I’ll do my best for the Famiglia, but you two are my main priority.”
“Okay, someone’s coaching you.” I shift Ruby and rock her lightly. She’s asleep, her little mouth hanging half open.
He looks alarmed. “What? No, definitely not.”
“No man’s going to say something so perfect.”
He laughs and reaches out. He touches his daughter then my arm. “Okay, I admit it. I’ve been watching Hallmark movies.”
“I knew it.”
“I can’t help myself. I just love when a big city girl meets a small-town guy and sparks fly.”
“It’s really the best,” I say with a dramatic sigh.
We rock together in silence for a few more minutes. I’m so comfortable and sleepy, and after a little while Renzo gets up. He extracts Ruby from me very carefully, bouncing her as he stands. “Saul has his first meeting with Allegra in a few weeks.” He carefully looks out at the garden. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen.”