Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 135792 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 679(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135792 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 679(@200wpm)___ 543(@250wpm)___ 453(@300wpm)
“He’s overreacting. I’m clearly fine. Other than the shoulder.”
“You’re not. Fucking. Fine, Knox,” Liv growled, twisting his lips. “Just admit it. I want to help. I would have tried to long ago if I knew!”
Knox swallowed, wishing he could hide from this conversation, but he was a cornered rat, and standing up would have probably been an issue now, let alone running.
So he did what a cornered animal would and lashed out.
“I have a fucked up heart, okay? I can’t afford the surgery and neither can you! I won’t have you wasting your life on paying for something that isn’t even your problem!”
“But it is!” Liv said, rising from the stool so fast it dropped to the floor, clattering loudly. “You’re my family. My real family, who’s actually there for me, and no matter how hard you push me away, I will always stay!”
Knox’s heart ached at Liv’s words. It was almost too much emotion. He couldn’t take it. And to make that painfully clear to both of them, the heart monitor sped up its beeping.
Knox bit the inside of his cheek, but even when he felt the tang of blood, tears still spilled down his cheeks. He was such a fucking crybaby. And over what?
“I don’t want to…” he sobbed, “be a burden to you.”
Silence. And then, Liv’s hip pushed against his, and warm arms scooped him close, monitoring cables and all.
It felt so overwhelming, yet he leaned close without thinking and put his head on Liv’s shoulder, seeking the comfort he didn’t deserve.
“Knox, you are not a burden,” Liv whispered into his hair, his voice soft yet so reassuring, so steady. “You are everything to me. How do you not see it?”
“Because I’m not.” And yet he still leaned into the hug, despite the pain in his shoulder, and despite knowing he shouldn’t. “You need things I can’t give you. You need a girl. And you’ll make some babies, and I’ll just be the fun uncle, and that’s okay.”
Liv shuddered. “Babies? Eww, when did I ever say I want babies? I already have you to take care of,” he said with a faint laugh.
Knox snorted despite his tears. “Dumbass. You know what I mean. You like girls. A lot. You always did. And maybe what we had was fun for you, but it won’t be enough, and we both know it.” Even if saying it out loud was so painful he was surprised his voice didn’t crack.
“No it wasn’t. It wasn’t just a bit of fun. I know I fucked up earlier, but I really fucking like you,” Liv whispered, tightening his hold around Knox as if he were afraid he’d run. Maybe he knew Knox better than Knox knew himself.
“What are you trying to say?”
Liv’s inhale was laborious, but he remained at Knox’s side and kissed the top of his head. “That I am full of shit. That I don’t think about stuff sometimes. That I act and only then say sorry. But don’t you ever think you’re not enough. Because today, waiting for you to wake up, I was thinking a whole lot, and yeah, I like girls. But I like you more. More than any girl. More than anyone.”
Knox dared look up into Liv’s eyes as his heart started to race again at the possibility of Liv wanting him for real. “Even though I’m a snivelling crybaby who punched you?”
Liv’s laugh sounded almost sad. “After what I’ve done, I’ll take any attention I can get. I just want you with me, always. All the time.”
Knox’s insides warmed into a goo made of feelings so sweet they could give him teeth decay. Even his shoulder hurt less. “And you said you thought that through? You sure? Because if it wasn’t obvious, you’re everything I want.”
Liv shivered and peeled himself away so they could look at one another while the heart monitor counted time in a measure only it understood. He took a deep breath as his hands found Knox, and his brown eyes lured Knox in, full of sweetness and promise. “Remember when you told me you were thinking about moving in with Amanda?”
It felt like so long ago, for a moment Knox wasn’t sure if he’d ever said that. “Stupid idea,” he said and stroked Liv’s jaw.
“It was,” Liv muttered and pressed Knox’s hand to his face as his nostrils flared, seeking Knox’s scent. “But you were serious. I thought she’d take you away from me. That’s why I—”
As hurtful as it had been at the time, Knox sighed, because they both did misguided shit at times. “Let’s just accept we’re both sometimes real dumb.” He kissed Liv on the lips, relieved that he could do it after all.
Liv pressed closer, clutching the hospital gown like a man desperate for touch after years of solitude, but he soon pulled away, shaking his head. “Are you sure? I did a fucked up thing earlier. Maybe you need… time, or something.”