Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 106092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 530(@200wpm)___ 424(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106092 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 530(@200wpm)___ 424(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
After a short time, he stops fighting. Then his swinging and spinning slows to a stop. I expected more of a fight, but it was a quick death. As satisfying as it was to see Holt be punished for killing Wayne and attempting to kill Jesse, it doesn’t change the fact that Wayne’s gone forever.
Fifteen more minutes pass and then Mr. Cameron motions a man over. The man drags a stool over to the body, climbs up, and then checks for a pulse. He looks at his watch and then announces the time of death. Once he’s confirmed the death, a cop replaces him with a big, serrated knife. The cop cuts through the rope and Holt’s expired body falls to the platform like a sack of potatoes.
No movement.
Still dead.
I scan the crowd, looking for Kellen, but don’t see him. Maybe he couldn’t stand to watch this public execution. I hurry back over to the church to see if he’s gone there.
Paula stops me once inside to put me on the shower list. After she scribbles my number on my hand, she lets me continue on my quest to find Kellen. Seconds later, I burst through the curtain of our area, expecting to see him sprawled out on his cot.
His cot is empty.
All his things are gone too.
My stomach twists violently. Where’s his stuff? On my cot is a folded piece of notebook paper. All the blood drains out of me as I sit down to read it.
Tyler,
I had to leave.
Tears blur my vision after reading those words. He had to leave? Is he crazy? I swipe at the wetness leaking from my eyes and go back to reading, eager for answers.
We all know I should have done this back in St. George. But I couldn’t say no to you all—because deep down I needed you all with me—and I got people killed. Killed, Ty. If it weren’t for me and my desperate need to get to Knox, Wayne would still be alive.
I snort out a sound of derision. He’s insane. Absolutely lost his marbles.
As a result of my actions, of my selfishness, we lost our vehicle, supplies, and everyone was injured. Then when I took from that building where the children were hiding out, I risked your lives once again. And, finally, when I pulled back for fear of messing things up, I again chose wrong. Wayne was shot and killed. Jesse nearly died too. If it weren’t for the miracle of Goodland and the welcoming people here, we’d have lost him. That’s on me.
That’s on him? Unbelievable. He’s delusional.
I’m sorry, but I have to go find Knox on my own. You all are safe in Goodland. There’s food, security, shelter, medical care, and good people. I can’t risk any more lives for my own personal agenda.
I know you’ll be pissed I didn’t say goodbye, but I couldn’t bear to see the hurt in your eyes. You, Tyler, have been a wonderfully bright spot in this now dark world. I cherish every moment we had together. If things were different, I’d like to think we could have made a really good life together.
A sob chokes out of me and I angrily crumple the letter in my fist. Tears streak down my cheeks as I struggle to breathe. I may as well be the man on the noose now because I can’t seem to suck in enough oxygen and I feel like I’m dying. Slowly, I urge air into my lungs and then set to straightening the letter back out so I can finish it.
Maybe once I find my brother, I can come back. It’s a big maybe, though. We both know this world is too dangerous to make long-term plans. It’d probably be better for us both if you could forget I ever existed.
I’ll never forget you, though.
Unable to read more, I crumple the letter in my fist again. Loud, terrible sobs ring out of me. I turn my head and wipe my eyes against my shoulder before desperately reopening the letter.
I loved you, Tyler. Somehow, though in a short amount of time, I fell for a brave, handsome, strong young man half my age. I had no business being with someone so out of my league. It was fantastic while it lasted. Thank you for that.
I know you’re wondering why I put “loved” in the past tense. Because after I finish this letter and abandon you without a proper goodbye, it won’t be fair to keep on loving you. The only way to get along on my journey is to push you out of my heart and mind.
Truly, I’m sorry it had to end like this. You’re a good man and don’t deserve it.
Please don’t come after me. I know you’re already assembling the team and making a plan. I beg you not to. Jesse is in no shape to travel. Neither is Hope, for that matter. Hailey and Dan need a home. They don’t belong on the road. And you, Tyler, can do so much to contribute to a community like Goodland. You were born for this.