Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 111732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 372(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 372(@300wpm)
“You’re supposedly the great love of my life,” I say. “The ring has to reflect that. I’d be an asshole to propose with any of those rings on my budget.”
“Okay, well, what’s your budget? Let’s start there.”
“I have no idea because I don’t know what impressive engagement rings cost. All I know is my budget is astronomically more than whatever it’d cost to buy any of those rings.”
Marnie grabs her nearby laptop and returns to the couch, and then proceeds to navigate to a high-end jewelry website—one featuring real diamond rings with astonishing price tags. “We’ll get an idea of what real diamond rings cost, so we know what ring you’d actually buy in this situation, and then we’ll find a fake that looks a lot like it.”
“You’re a genius.” I peek over Marnie’s shoulder at her computer screen. “Whatever fake we get, it has to look convincing. I’m sure some of the people at camp will know their diamonds.”
“No worries. We’ll get a ring that makes you look like a romantic baller who spared no expense to sweep your woman off her feet.”
“Well, let’s not go too far. I don’t want to look like I went into bankruptcy to buy the ring. I don’t want to look like a cheapskate, but I also don’t want to look like a fool who doesn’t know how to manage his money, either.”
“Well, lucky you, there’s plenty to choose from in lots of different price ranges.” She stops scrolling and points. “How about this one? It’s spectacular.”
“Jesus Christ. Who spends that kind of money on a rock with zero functionality?”
Marnie snorts. “Says the guy with a top-of-the-line Ferrari.”
“It’s not merely a Ferrari, first of all. It’s a Portofino M. Give the car its due. And second of all, you’ve only proved my point. A car is functional, unlike a diamond ring.”
“A VW would serve the same function, and yet you were willing to spend some outlandish amount on a Ferrari—”
“Portofino M.”
“Because you wanted to get from Point A to B in style. Because you wanted the world to see you in that car and think, ‘Damn, he’s someone.’” She shrugs. “It’s the same thing with an engagement ring. Every time your fiancée looks down at the ring you got her, she’s reminded how much you love her. She feels like she’s living in a fairytale. You could buy a twenty-dollar silver band for the great love of your life, but you’d never do that because you’re a man who drives a Portofino M, which means you understand exactly how a material possession can make a person feel special.”
“That’s highly persuasive logic, counselor.”
Marnie laughs. “Why don’t we do it this way: whatever you spent on your Ferrari—sorry, your Portofino M—is your budget for Fake Marnie’s engagement ring.”
I grimace. “Yeesh. That’s a lot of money. But I guess, if I loved you as much as I love that car, then I’d buy you a Ferrari for your finger.”
Marnie rolls her eyes. “Well, I’d hope you love me more than a fucking car, if you want to spend the rest of your life with me. But okay, it’s progress. How much was your fancy car?”
I tell Marnie the number and she practically does a spit-take with her wine, which then makes us both dissolve into cackling, wheezing, hysterical laughter. After a bit, however, we manage to pull ourselves together and return to the task at hand. “Damn, Max,” Marnie murmurs after she’s resumed scrolling through the jewelry website. “With your budget, I’m sure Fake Marnie wet the crotch of her G-string when she saw your engagement ring.”
My body jolts at the imagery her comment provokes inside my head: Marnie wearing nothing but a G-string, looking aroused and tousled and eager to get fucked. Tingles shoot into my dick. My heart rate quickens. Is she trying to turn me on, or is she simply clueless about the effect she has on me?
Marnie points out an outrageously expensive ring. “Oh, can we pretend to get this one, Boo? I know it’s a tad out of your budget, but it’s my favorite, by far. Pretty please, Boo?”
I laugh. “Anything for you, Boo.”
She squeals like I’ve actually agreed to buy the ring for her. “Thank you, Boo. You’re the best fake fiancé, ever.” With a cute little giggle, she navigates to a new website, this one featuring costume jewelry, and starts searching for a lookalike of the real one she’s fallen madly in love with.
“Yikes,” Marnie says after some scrolling. “I had no idea high-quality costume jewelry was this expensive. A fake copycat of the one we picked out is eight thousand bucks.”
“That works for me,” I say without hesitation. “Let’s get it.”
Marnie’s jaw drops. “Absolutely not. I’m sure we can find something on another website for less than a thousand.”