Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 82973 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82973 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“I always will.”
She softened against him. “I believe that. And if you knew me, you’d understand that’s a miracle.”
“What do you mean?”
“My relationship with my dad is great, so I don’t have daddy issues or anything. But every other man in my life…” She shook her head. “Liars, players, users. Before you, I’d given up on finding anyone.”
Matt’s throat tightened. He’d never taken any woman seriously because he’d refused to run the risk of one leaving him, like his mother left his father. And he’d been secure in the knowledge that he wasn’t a controlling bastard, like his father—until now. Where the fuck did that leave him? He didn’t want to ruin Madison’s psyche. She was fragile. But she scared him on every level.
He had to tread carefully.
“You’re beautiful, sweet, and special. Never let anyone make you feel like less.”
Against his chest, he felt her smile. “It’s at least a little bit my fault. I trust too much. I get attached too fast. I lose myself, and I don’t see the pitfalls until it’s too late.”
Her admission drove home the fact that he was all wrong for her. Dangerous. Toxic. Bad. He should back off.
Matt wasn’t sure he could.
She sighed. “And we’ve gone about everything backward. Sex before talking. Tell me how you are in relationships?”
“I can’t say. I’ve never really been attached.”
“Seriously? Why not? You’re amazing.”
How did he explain this without opening up about the subject he never discussed? “It’s complicated.”
She brushed a hand down his chest before settling it over his heart. “I won’t be able to sleep until you tell me. Maybe I can help.”
No one could. “It’s stuff that happened a million years ago.”
“But if it’s bothering you, it’s not a million years ago for you.”
True. Avoiding the truth had never helped much. Would unburdening?
Matt shuttled out a harsh breath and rolled to his back. “Did you notice the tattoo on my ribs?”
“And still I rise,” she quoted. “What made you choose that?”
“I got it the day after I turned eighteen. It was the ninth anniversary of my mother leaving.”
“She left you the day after you turned nine?”
“Yep. She packed a suitcase, took half the money in the bank, and one of the cars. She never looked back. One day she threw a football birthday party for me, even baked the cake herself. The next day, she was gone.” Matt would never forget the teary look in her eyes when she’d said she loved him, brushed her hand over his hair, kissed his cheek, said she was sorry…and disappeared. “I never heard from her again.”
She gasped. “And you have no idea why?”
“No, I do. My father… He’s a horrible, manipulative bastard. In fact, shitty fathers were something One-Mile and I bonded over as kids. Most everyone who came into our lives ended up leaving a teary, emotional wreck. I got the tattoo to remind myself that, despite all the crap with my parents and stuff, I won’t let it bring me down.”
Madison didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Thank you for sharing that with me. It sounds like your childhood wasn’t easy.”
“Try hard as fuck,” he admitted with a smile before sobering again. “I’ve never talked about it to anyone, except Pierce. He only knows because he visited his grandpa every summer and saw it all go down.”
She caressed him again, curling against his side in the dark, and planted a kiss on his mouth so soft it nearly felled him.
“Which makes you telling me even more special. I’m here for you. I hope you know that. Just like I hope you know you’re an amazing man.”
But he wasn’t. Didn’t she see? This weekend had proved that. And he was conflicted as fuck.
Tomorrow, he’d have to face that reality. But he still had tonight. He scooped Madison up in his arms, donned another condom, and utterly lost himself inside her one last time.
The following morning, Matt kissed Madison against the side of her sedan like he would starve to death without her, dazing her too much to ask for the promises he knew she wanted. Then he settled his cowboy hat on his head and watched her drive away, scrubbing a hand down his face. He felt as if his fucking world was ending.
After one last sweep of the suite where they’d spent the weekend lost in each other, he snapped a pic of the room so he could remember it exactly as it looked now—mussed bed with the robe’s terry cloth belt still tied to the headboard, towels strewn, and half-empty cups of coffee on the dresser. Then he shut the door behind him and headed to the parking lot.
What the fuck was he going to do about Madison? As he climbed into his truck and left the inn, he felt her absence keenly, as if she’d taken his insides when she’d gone, leaving him hollow and raw.