Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65444 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65444 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
“It’s not just us,” I try again, not knowing why I’m even bothering. I want this, I want him more than my next breath.
“You’re right. It’s not just us. I’m not saying we’ll get married tomorrow or move in together next week. All I’m saying is I want this, and will work at making you want it just as badly as I do.”
I want to tell him that I already do want it, but I can’t put myself out there like that. Not yet anyway.
“Slow,” I say, and his face changes again.
And then he’s sliding inside of me, filling me up once more, whispering, “Slow,” against my neck.
“Not back together with Zach, hmm?” Paul questions softly from my side, and I turn my head to glare at him, only to see the smirk on his face turn into a huge smug grin.
“No, we’re not together.” He raises a brow and I blow out a breath, rolling my eyes. “Fine. Yes, we’re seeing each other, but right now, we are taking it slow,” I say, knowing my version of slow and Zach’s are completely different.
We haven’t told the kids about us, but I have no doubt they know something is going on, judging from how Zach acts toward me, even when they’re around. Not inappropriately, but still, his face will change when our eyes meet, his fingers will graze mine, or his hand will move to my lower back if we’re standing next to each other. I know they see it. They have to.
Hunter hasn’t acted like he notices, which I can’t decide if that’s good or bad. He’s never seen me with anyone but his father, and I don’t want him upset. Aubrey just looks happy whenever she happens to glance between us, and Steven—well, Steven always looks conflicted. I know it’s not that he doesn’t like me, though. I know it’s because he loves his mom, and is loyal to her in a way that actually makes me proud of him.
“I’m glad to see you happy.”
Coming out of my head, I wrap my arms around my waist and hold my breath, watching him take a puff off his cigarette. I am happy. Happier than I’ve been in a very long time, and that scares me, because I don’t want my happiness to be wrapped up in Zach. I want it to be something separate, something I can take with me if there comes a time when we don’t work out. I should have done that with Max, but I didn’t. I put the responsibility of my happiness—our happiness—on his shoulders, and that wasn’t fair to him. In the end, it became too much for him to bear.
“You should really stop smoking,” I scold, and he laughs, blowing out a large cloud of smoke a second later.
“I know, but old habits die hard.” He smiles then tilts his head to the side. “Glad you came over.”
“Me too. I really like Joe. She’s perfect for you,” I say. His face softens and his eyes grow warm at the mention of his wife’s name.
“I didn’t do right by her when we started. I was with her while holding her at arm’s length, trying to keep myself safe, and I acted like a dick.”
“What changed?” I ask, turning to look into the house, where Zach and Joe plus all of the kids are sitting around the table where I left them talking so I could follow Paul out while he smoked.
“She told me she was pregnant with Denver and that she couldn’t be with me anymore. She told me she didn’t want to raise him with a man who was only around when it was convenient for him to be there, and then told me she was going to find a man who would love her the way she deserved to be loved. I knew then that she’d find that man in someone else. As pretty as she is and as sweet as she is, I knew it wouldn’t take her long to find someone to give her what she needed, but I knew I couldn’t let her go, so I got my shit together and fought for us.”
“Smart woman.”
“Strong, so damn strong… and stubborn.” He grins and his beard shifts. “Took all of her pregnancy for her to come around. It wasn’t until she was giving birth to Den that she told me she was willing to give us another chance. I don’t know what I would have done if she didn’t take me back.”
“You’re a good man. She would have come around eventually.”
“Sometimes, a woman is hurt so badly there is no repairin’ that damage. Lucky for me, I was able to fix the parts of her I broke.”
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I know exactly what he’s saying, because even though Zach didn’t break me, there are parts of me still gaping wide open.