Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 87961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87961 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
I need Jude’s protection, but this is only for now, not forever.
I turn around and make my way back to the house. I can already imagine the smug expression on his face as I trample through the undergrowth.
When I break through the tree line, I glance at the front of the house. The house that has been my prison for the last two weeks.
There’s a lone figure sitting on the porch, and a steady stream of smoke billows around his face, catching on the breeze.
As I approach the porch, Jude looks up at me, taking another slow drag of his cigarette.
“I…” I don’t know what to say. “I can’t...I have nowhere to…” I choke on a sob as tears once again prickle my eyes.
He takes one last drag on his cigarette, then tosses it to the ground with a flick of his wrist. “Hmmm.” He presses his hand over his mouth, his fingers brushing over his stubble as his eyes fix on me. “You can’t what?”
“I can’t leave.” I say quietly.
He pulls in a heavy breath. “Then don’t.” His gaze narrows on me, and he stands.
I drop my gaze to the floor, and nod, more to myself than him.
He rises from his spot on the step and steps towards me. ”You may fucking hate me,” he reaches out and cups my cheek, “but I will protect you from that bastard.” He pauses, drawing in a deep breath. “For as long as you want me to. I owe you that.”
I burst into tears. God, I’m such a mess. Jude watches me for a second, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Then he steps forward, wrapping his arms around me. He stiffens for a moment before he lowers onto the step and pulls me into his lap like a child, cradling me against his enormous chest. His massive presence making me feel safer than I have any right to feel with him.
I sit with Tor, not really knowing what the hell to do. Her fingers twist into my shirt, clinging to me like I might try and leave her.
I know how she feels in this moment. Everything she’s known has been destroyed, taken. And that is exactly how I felt when my mother and sister were murdered. It is a helpless feeling, and the thing that fucking guts me the most is the fact that, even though it wasn’t my intention, I did this to her. I pull in a hard breath. I cannot abandon her. I will not let life fuck her the way it fucked me. Her entire body convulses as she weeps for what she’s lost. And in this moment I have nothing to say. I know no way to help her, and that pisses me off. I am the person who ruined her, and I hate myself for that. I inhale, my fingers combing through her thick hair. “I really am sorry, Tor, I had to,” I whisper into her hair, my fingers sweeping through the tangled strands.
Without warning, she buries her face in my shoulder. I can feel her tears on my skin, her heart beating against my chest. She’s clinging to the person who has taken everything from her because I am all she has, and that’s just fucking tragic. Her fingers dig into my shoulders as loud, pitiful sobs break from her. I hold onto her, burying my face in her hair as my hands clasp the back of her head. I know this should feel wrong, because it is—this brings a whole new meaning to the term fucked-up—but part of this feels right. She feels right to me, and I know that’s dangerous, but I can’t help it. I give in to the way this feels and lose my bearings. “I will make this up to you,” I whisper in her ear.
What the fuck has she done to me?
We stay like that for what feels like hours, and I don’t know that she will ever truly come to terms with the fact that she’s lost everything she’s ever had, but given the choice, I would do the same thing again.
I cling to Jude, because if I don’t, I feel like I’m going to fall off the figurative cliff edge that I’m desperately holding onto. None of this is right or fair. I just want to go back. I want to erase the last couple of weeks.
I can’t help but picture my sister burying the body of some poor girl whose family will never even know she’s dead. Life is so fragile. Everything can change in a heartbeat.
Jude holds me close, everything about him strong and powerful, yet the way he touches me is gentle, almost reverent. I pull my face away from his neck, sniffing away the last of my tears. As his eyes lock with mine, I can’t remember a single bloody reason why I should push him away.