Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 64493 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64493 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 258(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
“I know, but—”
“Yeah, I get it. You’re important. But I also think you’re a selfish prick, Vinnie. I think you love the spotlight and the accolades, and I think it must feel really fucking good to come home a hero. But if you ask me, a real hero comes around for the hard parts too. At the very least, they give more than a passing ‘Everything cool, man?’ ” He swiped his hand through his hair and sighed. “And now I feel like an asshole. But you asked, so…there you go. That’s why I’m pissed at you, and that’s why I don’t trust you. I’m glad you’re here now. The whole fucking town is happy to have the great Kimbo in our midst. But if history has taught me anything, I expect you to lose interest well before summer is up. And who knows when we’ll see you next?”
Holy crap.
I hadn’t been prepared for a thorough beatdown. I felt as though I’d been punched in the gut and knocked out by an uppercut to the jaw. The cartoon version of me currently had tweeting birds and twinkling stars circling my head.
I gaped at him, unsure if I should defend myself or keep my mouth shut.
Nolan exhaled. He hooked his thumb toward the door and opened it, seemingly out of words.
“Wait. I don’t know what to say to all that.” I held my hands open in surrender. “I’m sorry.”
“Fuck, Vin, you don’t get it. You don’t owe me an apology. You probably owe Ronnie one, but he’ll brush it off. What you can do is be honest. Stay or go. Help him or don’t. I hate seeing him accept less than he deserves. Especially from people he loves.” He flattened his hand over the doorjamb. “As for me and you…the past is the past. That night didn’t mean anything. It was teenage hormones gone wild. I know that. All we have is now, and my biggest immediate concern is for my family. I want my brother to succeed, I want his daughter to grow up knowing she’s well loved, and I want my mom to be happy. That’s it. You’re an old friend, and if you can play any part in that…awesome.”
“Uh. Okay.”
“Great. So…see you Sunday?”
I gulped and bit the inside of my cheek. “Yeah. Sunday.”
Nolan gave me a thumbs-up and walked away while I stared at the chipped gray paint on the back of the door, rattled to the core.
It wasn’t that he’d said anything I didn’t know. It was that he had no idea that everything I’d done or hadn’t done over the past nineteen years was directly related to that night.
That night.
That night was a turning point.
That night was the beginning of me and the end of me all in one fell swoop.
That night changed me for good and forever. It had scared the fuck out of me, and I didn’t do well with fear.
Fear made me hard, it made me mean, it made me dangerous—great qualities for a D-man. But it also weakened me in ways no one could understand.
Well, maybe Nolan, but after almost two decades, it was probably too late to stir that pot. He’d said it himself…the past was over and done. I was less worried about my relationship with Ronnie. I loved that guy and he knew it.
Nolan…
He was a different story.
Maybe I was being an idiot, but everything about that night haunted me. It lived in the shadowy parts of my brain and popped up randomly. It faded when my focus was hockey. But I didn’t have hockey anymore. What I had was a lot of churned-up emotional bullshit I couldn’t figure out how to process.
If I’d come home to rid myself of whatever guilt or shame I’d attached to that night, Nolan had set me free. He’d moved on.
But I hadn’t.
I wasn’t known for my deep thoughts, so it was vaguely alarming that I couldn’t shut my brain off at night. My conversation with Nolan was on constant replay.
It wasn’t just a kiss.
No, I wasn’t talking about that semi-innocent lip mash at the diner the other day. That was nothing. The summer before I left town for college…and for good? Those kisses were burned in my memory. He’d seemed so clear-headed and unaffected by the past. Me? I lay in the dark with my hand wrapped around my dick, reliving ancient events for the third night in a row.
Contrary to Nolan’s claim, it wasn’t just one night. It was a string of summer days where every glance and touch had led to something so unexpected, I’d had no way to shield myself from the avalanche of…desire.
At seventeen, I’d kissed a boy and I’d liked it.
Then I’d craved it.
My childhood was filled with memories of Nolan. My best friend’s little brother laughing at all of my jokes, taking every dare, and following me on some ill-advised adventures.