Total pages in book: 132
Estimated words: 124923 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 625(@200wpm)___ 500(@250wpm)___ 416(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124923 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 625(@200wpm)___ 500(@250wpm)___ 416(@300wpm)
“Because I’m the one who put this whole thing in motion. I’m the one who called him out in front of an audience on New Year’s.” He didn’t know that my dad had been planning his downfall prior to that. As far as he’s concerned, this extra scrutiny, his entire downfall, is because of me and me alone. “And he knows the best way to hurt me is to hurt her.”
“How would he know that?” Shayne asks. Thayer pins me with a glare, and I know with that one look that he’s known about Valen and me for longer than he’s let on. He warned me to stay away from her months ago.
“He saw Valen and me…together. On his patio on New Year’s. The day Grey and I went to pay him a visit, he had the video on his phone.”
“For the love of fuck, Holden. All this is because you couldn’t keep your goddamn dick in your pants?” Thayer shakes his head.
“Fuck you. It wasn’t like that.” I’m well aware that this is all my fault.
“You love her,” Shayne says. It’s not a question.
“More than I’ve ever loved anything in my life.”
Her eyes soften and she nods in understanding. “Just don’t hurt her. You’re my brother and I love you, Holden, but she’s my sister. Don’t make me choose.” I hear the unspoken part of her warning loud and clear. Don’t make me choose, because it won’t be you. I’m not surprised or offended. I’m glad her allegiance is with Valen. But it doesn’t give me the warm and fuzzies hearing it out loud.
“Understood.”
Valen doesn’t notice me at first. She’s staring out the window, her gaze fixed on a snow-covered lamppost outside, seemingly lost in thought. The nurse must have come back because the lights are dim now. Even still, I can see the bruises starting to form under her eyes. My fingers curl into fists at my sides thinking about how close she came to dying. If she would have hit one of those trees on the way down, if her phone wouldn’t have had enough battery left to call me, if I would have gotten there just a few seconds later…
I shake the thoughts away, unable to let my mind go there, making my way over to her. Now that the adrenaline has worn off, I can feel the cuts and bruises on my feet with each step, but it’s nothing compared to what Valen must be feeling. Her head whips around when she hears me, alarmed, but she relaxes the second she realizes it’s me. She looks exhausted, her eyes glassy and unfocused. I go to run the backs of my knuckles down her cheek but think better of it, not wanting to hurt her. Instead, I tuck her hair behind her ear.
“What’s wrong? Besides the obvious.”
“It’s like my body is tired, but my mind won’t shut off. The nurse just gave me pain meds. She said they’d help me sleep, too, but I just…” she trails off, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at herself. “I don’t want to close my eyes.”
I know the feeling. “Figures you’d be too stubborn to let the medication work.”
Wordlessly, I toss my phone onto the metal rolling table next to the bed, then reach behind my neck with my good arm, pulling the scrub shirt over my head and toss it to the chair next to the window. I sit on the edge of the bed and Valen lifts the blankets, scooting over to make room for me. I lie back, careful not to hurt her, and she curls up on her side, her thigh draped over my stomach, her head resting against my chest. She still feels cold and clammy, even with the warm blankets. I wrap my arm around her, pulling her in closer.
“Change the channel,” I tell her, knowing she’ll understand my meaning. “When you close your eyes and see something you don’t want to see, replace it with a happy memory instead.”
She’s quiet for a minute, and just when I think she’s fallen asleep, she speaks again. “The conservatory.”
“Hmm?”
“My happy place.”
“Mine, too.” Anywhere with her is my happy place, whether it’s on the cabin floor without heat and electricity or a shitty twin bed in her dorm or this hospital bed.
“Will you stay with me?” she asks, sounding like she’s on the brink of sleep already. The medication must be kicking in because she’d rather die than risk sounding like she needed someone under normal circumstances.
“For as long as they let me.” The fingertips of my bandaged hand glide up and down her arm. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep. In a matter of seconds, her breathing evens out. I should feel some semblance of peace knowing that she’s okay, but every time I close my eyes, I see the gruesome image my mind conjured up of Valen limp and lifeless in the frozen water. It’s burned into my brain, and no amount of changing the channel will help.