Total pages in book: 132
Estimated words: 124923 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 625(@200wpm)___ 500(@250wpm)___ 416(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124923 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 625(@200wpm)___ 500(@250wpm)___ 416(@300wpm)
I don’t know how long I lie like this, staring up at the brown watermark on one of the ceiling tiles. Shayne comes back at one point, just long enough to drop off a bag of clothes and my shoes. She takes one look at us and leaves without a word. The nurse comes in, too, giving me a disapproving look, and tells me I have five more minutes, but she never comes back. So I never leave.
Whether it’s the pain pills or just exhaustion from today’s events, Valen sleeps harder than ever. Her breathing is slow and deep, her little puffs of breath hitting my chest with each exhale. She looks serene, her heartbeat steady and strong against my chest. It’s the complete opposite of how I feel.
My phone buzzes from the table and I reach over Valen’s sleeping form to grab it. I clench my jaw so hard my ears pop when I see that it’s a text from my uncle.
Ran into Valentina tonight but didn’t get to say hello before she disappeared. Send her my best.
I stiffen at the words on the screen, knowing he chose them carefully. Ran into Valentina. It might as well be a confession. As carefully as I can, I extract my arm from underneath Valen. I don’t want to leave her, especially like this. He’s baiting me with that text. He knows exactly what my next move will be. He’ll be waiting for me to show up. Even with that knowledge, I can’t stop myself from doing exactly that.
Valen
I don’t know what pulls me from sleep, but the second I’m awake, I know something is wrong. Holden’s no longer in bed with me. I can sense that much before I’ve even opened my eyes. I rub my tired eyes, squinting up at the glowing clock on the wall. It reads 2:46 A.M.
Slight movement draws my attention to the left, and I find Holden looking out my window with his hands clasped behind his head. For a brief second, I’m relieved that he’s still here, but there’s something about his silence, his body language, the fact that he’s not in bed with me…all of it screams wrong.
He doesn’t react when I climb out of the hospital bed, or when my bare feet slap against the cold floor. It’s not until I wrap my arms around his waist that he startles and tenses, blinking rapidly like he’s been pulled from his thoughts.
“What’s wrong?” I lean my cheek against his back.
“It was Samuel,” he says, his voice flat.
I nod, even though he can’t see me. “I know.” At least, I assumed. It’s not like it was hard to put two and two together.
He spins around abruptly, knocking me off balance, then steadies me by my elbows. “Did you hear what I said?” He raises his voice. “He tried to kill you, Valen.”
“I know,” I say again. “But he didn’t. I’m fine.”
“He tried to kill you. Because of me. You could have died. You almost died.”
“But I didn’t. You can say it as many different ways as you want, but it doesn’t change the outcome. You saved me.” He’s always saving me. More than anyone else, in so many little ways, every single fucking day.
He shakes his head. “What about next time? I can’t—” he stops himself, directing me back to the bed. “I can’t do this.”
I throw his hands off me. “Do what?”
He shoves his hand through his hair, his jaw clenched tight, and pins me with a look that says everything he’s not saying out loud. He’s leaving me.
“Don’t.”
“I have to.”
“No, you don’t,” I argue. “You have to stay. With me. I need you to stay.” I hate how pathetic I sound begging for him to stay.
He turns away, his silhouette moving farther away from me with each step.
“You did this to me.”
He flinches at my words, twisting back around to face me.
“I was fine before you. I didn’t need anyone. But you made me need you. You made me fall in love with you.” My voice breaks on the last sentence, tears streaming down my face. Holden’s throat bobs on a swallow, his empty gaze fixed on a spot on the wall over my head. “And if you’re going to leave me now because of your own misplaced guilt or self-loathing or whatever the fuck this is, then you’re the coward.”
Not a flicker of emotion crosses his features, and I’m reminded of the night outside of his house. The night he found out Christian killed Danny.
“Well, you were right about one thing. You said you’d break my heart into a million little pieces, and you just succeeded. Congratulations.”
Still nothing. Just a dead, hollow stare. “I’m sorry. I should have never touched you.”
Valen
“Rise and shine, princess.” Shayne’s voice brings me from sleep, and I crack open my eyes to find her standing above me, shaking an iced coffee. The pain meds are the only reason I’ve been able to sleep since Holden left. “The nurse said you can have caffeine now.”