Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
"And I hate it." There's so much frustration in my voice. "I hate all of it, but it's worst when you do it."
His brow furrows. "I am trying to show you respect with how I pronounce your name."
"It's not respect in my language," I say, crossing my arms over my chest. "It's a turd."
I feel a little gratified when A'tam gets an astonished look on his face. He glances over at Steph again. "Is this true?"
She gives a tiny nod. "It's an insulting word that references, uh, dung."
A'tam thinks for a moment. "Then I will call you my little kaari."
I'm almost swayed by that. Almost. "Because you can't be bothered to learn my real name?"
He lifts his chin, his expression growing angry. "You accuse me again. I can learn your name."
"Then spit it out!" I gesture at him, waiting. "Go on."
A'tam scowls. "Bruh-shit."
"Bridget."
"That is what I said."
I fling my hands up. "I give up."
"B'shit, you—"
"Guys, guys," Steph breaks in before we snap at each other again. She puts her hands in the air, motioning for us to stop. "Let's take a breather for now, all right? You're both worked up, and there's a lot being said. It's not productive if we just yell at each other. Why don't we take a break and let's think about what we've confessed today, all right?" She turns to me. "Bridget, A'tam indicated he was upset with your inability to share how you feel. Let's think about that one for the rest of the day, all right?"
"Fine," I mutter.
She turns to A'tam. "A'tam. Bridget has indicated that she doesn't share because she feels like you don't listen."
"I listen! She said I was bad with my cock!" He gives me a wounded look.
Steph shakes her head. "No, A'tam. That's what you're hearing. What she's saying is that she doesn't trust you enough to tell you when she's uncomfortable, because she worries it will fall on deaf ears." He opens his mouth to speak, but she hurries over him. "Remember, this isn't about declaring someone right or someone wrong. This is about learning how the other person feels. This is how Bridget feels when she's with you. Now, you both have something to think about for the day, okay? I want you both to leave all the anger here, in this session. When we're done, take some time apart this afternoon. Really think about what the other person is telling you and how you can acknowledge how they feel, all right?" She turns to me again. "Bridget, I need you to think about how A'tam feels when you don't talk to him. How that's going to affect everything you do—including the sex." She turns back to my mate. "A'tam, I need you to think about how it makes Bridget feel when she thinks you don't acknowledge what she says. Okay?"
"Fine," I say again.
A'tam looks over at me. "Fine."
"Okay. You both take the afternoon to think and let's meet again in the morning, all right? Just remember that this is going to be an ongoing process. Nothing is solved overnight. We need to learn how to communicate with each other in ways that satisfy our partner’s needs without giving up our own."
"We?" A'tam echoes. "Why do you include yourself?"
I press my lips together to avoid a frustrated giggle. "Universal 'we,'" I explain. When he still looks confused, I reach over and pat his hand. "She's just speaking in general."
"I do not know how to speak general," he says, and glances down at my hand on his. "You are touching me. Are you not angry? After all we have said to each other?"
I shake my head. "A'tam—"
"Time apart, guys," Steph chides us softly. "You need time to think on your own, okay?"
"Right. Time apart." I nod and get to my feet. Maybe I'll check on the destruction of my pottery cave and see what havoc Juth and Pak have wreaked on it. I feel like we didn't get nearly enough accomplished in our talk, but I also understand Steph wanting us to defuse and step back before things got too heated. "Thanks Steph. See you guys later."
29
A'TAM
Even though I want nothing more than to take my mate aside and talk to her, I spend the afternoon fishing. I cast my nets, over and over again, until my muscles are burning with fatigue, the twin suns are setting, and my stomach growls. S'teph told us to take this time and think about what our mate wants from us. I wish I had an answer, but I have never understood what B'shit wants from me.
No, Br'shit, I correct myself. She does not like the way I say her name. B'rshit? B'rishit?
No, wait, that is wrong, too. Buh…Bruh…
I growl at myself, because my tongue does not want to twist around her true name. My mate, I finally amend, and am satisfied with that. I do not know what my mate wants from me. She is impossible to understand. I haul in my catches, spreading my net on one of the rocks for use in the morning. I suspect I will be doing a lot of solitary fishing in the days to come, trying to understand my mate and the things she says.