Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106646 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
I throw my hands up, silencing them before they continue. "Enough. Enough. Perhaps I am not the best listener. I care about B'shit, though." I pause, then correct myself. "Br'shit." Pause. "My mate. I care about her."
"Then tell her this, and stop with this foolishness." I'rec gestures at me. "Look at U'dron. He wanted a female. He chased her down. They resonated and now her belly is full of his kit. The entire camp knows how happy they are together because she calls out his name all night long. He listens to her, I wager."
"We all listen to her," O'jek mutters. "All night."
I do not like that they are not on my side. "I thought you both did not like B's—er, my mate?"
"That was when she refused you," O'jek says. "Now she is your resonance mate. No one refuses that. It is different."
"Nothing is more important than re-growing our numbers," I'rec says. "If your mate is unhappy because you do not listen to her, then listen. If she says you are bad at mating, make her tell you what she likes. It is not hard." He nudges my shoulder. "This is what you have been wanting, A'tam. You have been moping over B'shit since we arrived. Now she is yours." His grin grows broader. "Think of her as a particularly tricky prey. Find out what will make her put her guard down and then swoop in for the kill."
I run my hand through my mane again. "I do not wish to kill her, I'rec. I wish to mate her."
O'jek makes a sound of exasperation and shakes his head.
"It is a hyoo-man saying," I'rec tells me. "One T'ia taught me." His expression grows hard and cold when he brings up her name. I do not know if it is because he misses her, or if it is because he is angry at her. O'jek would know. He—
I stagger at the realization.
O'jek would know because he is a good listener. He would know because people talk around him, because he is quiet, and he pays attention.
I do not. If it is quiet, I seek to fill the silence. My gut churns. Perhaps B…my mate…is right after all. Perhaps it is time for me to start listening more.
30
A’TAM
After I part from I'rec and O'jek, I return to my hut. The fire is out, and I rebuild it, thinking hard. My stomach growls with the need to eat, but I do not want to talk with more tribesmates who will give me advice and point out what a terrible mate I am. I do not wish for more of my fellow hunters and friends to point out that I do not listen.
Or that I am bad at mating.
I…truly am bad? A'tam of Shadow Cat? The male that all the females admire? The hunter with the best nose for finding a trail? I do not like being bad at things. And I am so bad at it that it made B…my mate…miserable. It was so bad she wanted nothing more to do with me.
It was so bad that I hurt her.
My gut clenches with misery at the thought of hurting my female. She never indicated to me at all that it was unpleasant. That she loathed my touch.
But then I think how when I was done, she rolled away from me and was silent. That is not the B'shit I know. My female is full of words, even when she is angry. Even more, then, perhaps, as she tries to convey her frustration.
Her silence was a clue, and I completely missed it. I should have paid attention, and I was so focused on my own pleasure that I did not. Perhaps everyone is right and I am a terrible mate.
I need to talk to my mate. To confess my ignorance and hope she will take me into her arms again. All I know is that I do not want us to end like this, with Br'shit sad and alone and hating my touch. I like her smile far too much. I would miss it as much as I would miss her kisses. Perhaps not all is lost, though. She responded to me last night when I held her in my arms. She liked my kisses, and I made her come.
It is not much, but it is something.
I look around my hut, thinking of Br'chit and last night. She slept in my arms, her scent in my nose, and I felt such…happiness. I move to my furs, picking one up to see if her scent remains, and frown down at a hard knot in the wood floor, underneath the spot where my mate slept. That has to move, I decide. I do not want her sleeping uncomfortably. I look at the floor of my hut, and then the walls. I look at the hastiness in which everything was constructed.