Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
She leans over and gives me a hug. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll see if I can get Jayson to listen to your story. Tell him everything you told me, and don’t leave anything out. Tell him you love him if you really do, but be completely honest. Don’t break his heart. Jayson’s a good man.”
“I won’t. I just want things to go back to the way they were.”
She gets up with a sigh and limps to the door. I watch her leave, and thugs outside in the hallway envelop her like they’re Secret Service agents prepared to take a bullet. The door shuts again, and I’m alone.
This is killing me. But I can take some small solace knowing that Casey’s out there on my side, and maybe, if I’m very lucky, Jayson will come back. Maybe he’ll listen, and I’ll get the chance I don’t deserve to tell him how I really feel.
And if he doesn’t, I’ll leave here knowing I had a chance at finding my person, and I squandered him on some impulsive, angry decision, and I’ll regret it forever.
Chapter 35
Jayson
I feel hollow. It’s like someone reached into my guts with a spoon and scooped everything out. I’m a husk, a mockery of a man. I slam back another whiskey, the alcohol burning in my throat. Nobody comes near me—I nearly ripped the head off one of my soldiers an hour ago, and ever since then, the whole fucking casino got the message.
I am not to be disturbed.
I have very important business. If I’m going to get drunk, properly drunk, then I’ll need plenty of space to work.
Every time I bring a glass to my lips, I see Casey’s face. Her beautiful eyes, her enormous smile, that auburn hair blowing around her pretty face. I can feel her hand in mine, can taste her lips on my tongue. I miss her like a piece of my own flesh, and I don’t know if I’ll ever feel whole again.
This is killing me.
I want to storm up to that room, kick in the door, and drag her into my arms. I want to forgive her—but she did the one thing I can never, ever get past.
“You look pretty awful.”
I turn as Casey hefts herself onto the stool beside me.
“You too,” I grunt at her. She’s the only person in this damn place that can get away with sitting next to me right now, mostly because she’s a good person, but also because Adler would cut my head off if I was rude.
“Kids,” she says with a sigh and gestures for a glass of wine. “I love them dearly, but sometimes I just wish they’d be quiet and sleep.”
“I hear that’s a common problem.”
She snorts as her glass comes and takes a long sip. “Adler’s a great father. Have I ever told you that? He’s caring and present and not afraid to get his hands dirty.”
“Doesn’t surprise me. He loves those kids more than anything.”
“Sometimes I wish he was around more often. That’s my only complaint. He works too much, and I wonder if he’s missing too much, you know what I mean?”
“I guess so. But Adler’s the Don.” I don’t add: you knew what you were getting into. Which probably isn’t even true.
“I know. Big, important Don, but to me he’s just Adler.”
“He’s just Adler to me too. My annoying older brother.”
“There’s a lot I wish I could do different, you know? Regrets are awful.”
I sip my drink, eyeing her warily. “I hope this isn’t going where I think it’s going.”
“You’re in love with Fallon. No, don’t argue with me, it’s so obvious.”
I stare at her and say nothing.
Because she’s absolutely right. I am very much in love with Fallon.
Only problem is she betrayed me, and it’s like a wound in my guts.
“What’s your point?” I say slowly.
“You’ll regret this,” she says with a shrug and sips her wine. “That’s what I’m trying to say.”
I clench my jaw. I want to say I already regret this, but the moment I let those words bubble out of my throat is the moment I’ve completely lost myself.
Because it’s true. I regret all of this.
I regret letting Fallon into my life. I regret giving her a chance. I regret the incredible attraction that made me risk everything to get a taste of her. I regret bringing her into my bed, treating her like my wife, letting myself tumble into the black pits of her heart.
I regret falling in love.
“There’s nothing I can do about it now. She made her choice.” I hunch over the drink. I wish Casey would leave me the fuck alone and let me stew.
What would Jackson say if he were around? Plenty of pussy in the sea, bro. Something stupid like that, something to make me laugh.
He’s gone, and the only good thing to come of his death is gone too.