Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
“You really want that, don’t you?” Casey looks genuinely sad as she says it.
“That’s the messed-up part. When I stole those documents, I was convinced that I’d hate Jayson for the rest of my life. But then things changed, and now I can’t imagine being without him.”
“God, that’s so freaking sad.”
“Hey, I know I’m pathetic, you don’t need to point it out.”
“Oh, god,” she says, covering her mouth. “That came out wrong. What I mean was, Jayson totally feels the same way.”
I stare at her, heart beating into my throat. “Don’t say shit like that right now, please.”
“I mean it, he’s a total wreck. Drinking too much, stalking around the casino, brooding. I think he’s taking this harder than you are.”
“Then why isn’t he here right now?”
“You know why.”
And she’s right. I grew up in a clan, and it’s not so different from this mafia family. We had rules and we took them seriously—and the biggest rule, the most important rule of all, was never, ever, ever betray the clan, no matter what. Faith and loyalty were everything.
From Jayson’s perspective, I broke the one rule that really mattered. I committed the cardinal sin and damned myself, and now there’s no turning back.
Casey comes around and hugs me. A little human contact feels good, and I let her talk me into going for a walk outside. The fresh air feels good, and although I keep hoping I’ll catch a glimpse of my former husband, I don’t get my hopes up.
We’re trailed by six guards as we head down to the beach. Casey goes nice and slow, and she leans against my arm after a little while.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she says, giving me a little smile. “And yes, it really does hurt this much.”
“Does going for a walk like this make it worse?”
“Totally, but sometimes I want it to ache, you know? Reminds me that I can still move around at least.”
“I’m sorry you have to deal with that.”
“Eh, you know, it’s just a part of my life. You can call it a disability, a handicap, a burden, whatever, but for me it’s just what it’s like to be me.”
“I wish I could be that strong.”
She nudges my arm. “It’s not strength. If I could fix my fucking leg, I absolutely would in a heartbeat. It’s just… learning to be who you are.”
“Well, then I wish I could learn to be who I fucking am right about now.”
“You will. Give it time.”
“How much time do I have? Really, Casey? They’re not going to keep me around here forever.”
“There’s been talk of sending you back,” she admits, looking uncomfortable. “But I’m not sure it’ll happen.”
“Why not?”
“Well, okay, I’m only getting this second-hand from Adler, but it seems that things aren’t so great in Ireland. Your brother’s struggling to hold your organization together, and he thinks that if you come home, it’ll only embolden the pro-war faction.”
“Which means I’m fucking stuck here.” My world feels hollow and bleak. Can’t go home, can’t stay here. “What am I going to do?”
“Give it time. You have the whole condo now and a little freedom. You just need to prove to Adler and Jayson that you made a stupid mistake, you’re sorry, and you’ll never do something like that again.” She glances at me, frowning slightly. “Which you won’t, right?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Because Adler kind of thinks you’ve been playing Jayson this whole time.” She clears her throat and holds up her hands. “I disagreed with him, but I’m just relating what I heard, okay? He called you one hell of an actress, his words, not mine.”
“Fucker,” I say, feeling a bit of that old heat in my chest. But it dies down quickly. “He’s right though. I did act a little bit. When I stole those documents, I kept them hidden from Jayson. But all that other stuff, the way I feel—”
“I’m on your side,” she says, squeezing my arm. “I promise, I really am. You just need to give it time.”
“Right. Time.”
We try to talk about other things, about the casino and Casey’s children, but my heart’s not in anything. On the way back, I do my best to be a good friend for Casey, even though I keep thinking about Jayson and the way he thinks of me now. Does my own husband think I’m nothing but a liar? Can he really believe that everything we shared was fake?
I made a terrible mistake, but it was all real, every second, every moment I fell for him.
As we climb back up to the boardwalk, Adler comes walking toward us. He brushes me aside, though he’s polite about it, and takes Casey on his arm. “Got you, little wife. You shouldn’t be out here like this,” he murmurs, looking truly concerned.
She touches his arm and the way she looks at him, full of love and adoration, breaks my heart.