Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 66259 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66259 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
I immediately reach for her, ready to kiss her, when Adrian steps between us. “Oh sorry, were you about to fornicate in front of God and everyone?” He takes the free seat and sets his two plates down. Dustin follows.
I reach for Scarlett again only to have Dustin cockblock me this time. She takes her original seat. I mouth, “Later.”
Her cheeks burn bright pink.
God, I could lick right there. How did we go from fighting to this in such a short time? It’s just attraction.
And… pity?
No, not pity.
“Damn…” Dustin shakes his head and takes another huge bite while Addison drones on and on in the microphone.
“…Our love wasn’t perfect from the start, it was messy, but it was everything and I’m so thankful to be welcomed into this family.” She coughs into the microphone and clears her throat. “Anyway, thank you to my gorgeous fiancé for the wedding of my dreams.”
Two of his groomsmen are loudly clanging their glasses next to them. They start to kiss, her cheeks are flushed. Huh, maybe she’s drunk?
“Seriously, though. What kind of sauce is in this pasta?” A waitress stops by and grabs his empty plate.
“Oh, so glad you like it!” She beams. “It’s a new summer favorite.”
“I’d marry it,” Adrian announces. “I would marry it so hard, to hell with my vows!”
Scarlett reaches for a bite off his plate and covers her mouth with her hand. “That tastes kind of like… seafood.”
“Good palette.” The waitress winks. “The chef believes adding a bit of shrimp to the sauce gives it a great flavor with the Sauvignon Blanc. Enjoy!”
“No!” Scarlett and I shout once she walks away.
Dustin’s fork clatters onto his plate. “You guys scared the shit out of me! I almost wasted pasta!”
“Is this what an orgasm used to feel like?” Adrian examines the pasta and pops another bite in his mouth. “What?”
Scarlett and I can only watch in horror as Addison takes another drink of water, coughs, then reaches for another bite of pasta.
Scarlett starts chugging her wine, finishes it, then sets it down. “Do we go? Do we stay?”
“Do we take out our phones?” I ask. “I got punched earlier, so I’m gonna need to be told how to handle this situation.”
“Huh?” Adrian and Dustin both look up.
Dustin finishes his plate. “What situation? The greatness that is this food?”
“Exactly, you guys are being weird.”
“Shrimp,” Scarlett and I say in unison.
“Adrian! Addison’s allergic to shrimp.
Adrian burst out laughing then coughs into his napkin. “Sorry, that was very satanic of me, but how allergic are we talking? Like we’ll need to call the paramedics or she’ll just look like she swallowed a balloon and might need a Benadryl.”
“Rash. Red face, sadness.” Scarlett gulps. “She’s going to swell up and develop a rash the day before she gets married.” She gasps. “Oh, shit it’s starting, look at her cheeks.”
“But death is out of the question?” I ask.
Scarlett’s eyes widen even further. “Oh, God.”
“What’s starting? When’s it end? I don’t like surprises!” Dustin looks around the room. “I’m so confused, and I was so happy with the shrimp.”
Adrian makes a cross in front of his chest. “I quite honestly don’t know how to feel about this moment. I agree, we need to know if we should say something.”
“Bro, do you not see how much pasta was piled up on her plate when we went to the buffet? She was eating while walking.”
A sneeze follows. Addison starts coughing again and turns to one of her bridesmaids and motions for more water.
Scarlett winces. “Maybe nobody will notice?”
“Yeah, nobody’s going to notice how her cheeks are suddenly puffing up to the size of Flounder. You know she’s going to find a way to blame you, right? Even though none of this is your fault and not attempted murder.”
Dustin nods. “Should I get the papers?”
I glare. “Stop with the papers, we don’t need her to sign a paper saying I’m not an accomplice in her murder, besides we’ll just blame you or the priest. You guys were the ones hovering over there and interrupting what I’m sure would have been a heavy amount of groping and kissing over here.”
“So heavy,” Scarlett agrees. “Okay, I’m going to fall down on my own sword and just go let her know. Pray for me.”
Adrian doesn’t respond, Dustin’s staring on with horror. “I’m gonna go with you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Yeah, I think I do, I can block any kicks or hits, wouldn’t be the first time a woman slapped me.”
Adrian snorts. “Wow. so shocking considering your hedonistic lifestyle.”
I flip him off and grab Scarlett’s arm. Together, we slowly make our way to the main table. The only person paying attention to Addison’s horror is the maid of honor, Barb something, who I briefly met while searching for Gertrude. She came on to me like a snack and had such a scary look in her eyes that I sidestepped her and said I had to pee.