Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
She needed to find a way to get back to the Nadia of old, which was easier said than done when she felt so empty on the inside.
The first day of school also meant they’d each embark on a new school year with a change none of them had expected. Their morning routine would be different. Rafe wouldn’t be there to wrangle an overly excited Lynnea or calm Gemma’s nerves. He wouldn’t kiss them goodbye and wish them the best first day ever or tell Nadia to teach history in a way the students would never forget. He wouldn’t share in their first-day-of-school breakfast or be waiting for them when they came home, eager to hear the tales of new teachers, friends, and the smelly boy who pulled Gemma’s hair.
Nadia would be the one to fill out the paperwork, pack lunches, and make sure the girls were presentable for school. She’d look over their homework, help with their bath time, and tuck them in at night, all while grading papers, making dinner, starting laundry, and picking up after them. The help she’d had with her family coming and going since the accident was gone. They wanted her to be independent, which she understood. The problem was, she had never done parenting by herself. She and Rafe had been a team, from the onset.
At night, she talked to his photo, telling him her fears and how she felt inadequate as a mother because she had trouble coping. This was her form of therapy. She didn’t need a head shrink telling her she was a shitty mother or hung up on the death of her husband. Nadia had that one figured out for herself. For fifty bucks an hour, she could tell you everything that was wrong with herself, the girls, and herself as a mother—she’d lost her husband and the girls their father to a freak accident that had been preventable. You don’t move on from that in days, weeks, or even months. You don’t cope and move on because society doesn’t allow it.
If Nadia intended to get through the school year, she would need help. As it was, she couldn’t afford a part-time babysitter on her salary alone, and the life insurance policy hadn’t come in yet. If it hadn’t been for the city, donations, and their parents, Rafe’s funeral would’ve been held in their backyard. People had come through for them, and she needed one more to do the same.
She picked up her phone and pressed Cleo’s number and waited for her mother-in-law to pick up. In the past five months, since Rafe’s funeral, Nadia hadn’t seen much of her in-laws. They came around, but nothing like they used to. That needed to change.
“Hello,” Cleo said in her singsong voice, which for some reason made Nadia mad. She shouldn’t be cheery.
“Hi, Cleo,” Nadia said and then took a deep breath. Asking for help wasn’t something she was comfortable with.
“Are the girls okay?”
Only the girls? Not me?
“They’re the reason I’m calling. School starts tomorrow, and they finish their classes before I do. I was hoping you or Otto could pick them up for me, and stay at the house until I get home?”
“Every day?”
Don’t sound so enthused to spend time with your grandchildren.
“Until I can find someone part time who isn’t working every day until five.”
“I didn’t know you were looking for someone?”
How would she? It wasn’t like she called, stopped by, or stopped blaming Nadia for donating her son’s organs. Nadia sat there, unable to come up with something to say. She wanted to scream and tell her Rafe wouldn’t appreciate the way she acted, but he would’ve expected this from his mother.
“It’s fine, Cleo. I’ll figure something out.” Nadia hung up before her mother-in-law could say something. She didn’t need her or Otto, even though she loved Otto dearly. Her next call was to Hazel.
“She hates me,” Nadia said when Hazel answered. “And she’s taking it out on the girls.”
“I think you knew this was going to happen. She isn’t like your mother. I have no idea how she raised someone like Rafe.”
“Me neither.” Nadia paused. “I’m in a bind, Hazel. I don’t know what to do.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t have anyone to pick the girls up or stay with them until I get home. Any after-school activities don’t start for another couple of weeks.”
“I’ll get them,” she said without hesitation.
“How? You have to work.”
“I can work from home in the afternoons,” she told Nadia. “I wasn’t going to because Lord knows I’ll never get any work done with Hayden yammering in my ear, but I can do this for you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Without a doubt. I’ll stop by in the morning and pick up your extra key. I’m assuming you’re taking them to school?”
“Yeah, as much as I don’t want to. I have to. It’s going to be hard.”