Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 127201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Miguel grabbed him harder and rubbed his scratchy cheek against Nero’s skin. “No, I should have… I should be over it. You’re not like those bastards. I want you.”
Nero’s heart ached, as if it were being squashed. He cupped Miguel’s face and forced him to look up until his dark gaze met Nero’s again. “No. Don’t say that. You were a kid. You saw them hurt your sisters, and kill everyone, and on top of that they assaulted you and almost murdered you too—that’s incredibly heavy.”
“Life was never the same after.” Miguel stroked the small of Nero’s back, making him realize just how different this was to any closeness he’d ever experienced. Even the best interactions with men had always been about fun and fucking, never anything beyond that. When a guy stopped being a constant joy to be around, Nero would kick him out of his life. But from now on, he wanted to be there for Miguel, to take on some of his burden and maybe even allow Miguel to shoulder some of his.
“Do you want to… talk about it?”
“There’s not much left to say. I’m ashamed that it broke me.” The rasp in Miguel’s voice cracked Nero’s heart open.
He’d been the kind of person who believed in moving on, regardless of what happened, but found himself unable to advise Miguel to do the same. He wanted to cradle him and make sure he’d never again have to think about the day that changed the trajectory of his life.
“You’re not broken. You’re here with me. You’re finally doing something that you need.” Instead of your psycho mother’s bidding, Nero thought, but that was a conversation for another time.
“I just… wish I could give you everything.”
Nero shushed him and leaned into one of those soft kisses, which still made his toes curl with delight. “You’re giving me everything I need, okay? You don’t need to do that to keep me satisfied.”
Miguel exhaled and opened his mouth for more. His tongue glided to Nero’s palate, making him melt, and while Miguel said nothing, it seemed that Nero’s message had sunk in. He could only hope it took some of the heaviness from Miguel’s shoulders.
Sighing, he placed one arm on the strong shoulder and entwined his other hand with Miguel’s when the heavy cloud of Father’s memory refused to lift. “I’m sorry he did this to you. But at least we’re now both free of him.”
“It must have been hard growing up around him.”
“I’m also a cannibal,” Nero blurted out, staring past Miguel, at the generic picture of a tropical beach hanging above the beds.
“What? He doesn’t define you,” Miguel said softly, but he didn’t understand that Nero wasn’t referring to being Raul Moreno’s offspring. Father had left an undeniable scar on him, and while invisible, it would never go away. Just like Miguel’s.
“No, I mean it literally. He, um—” The food Nero had eaten earlier rose up his gullet, but he spoke on. “The man I killed… my first. Father made me eat him.”
Miguel’s brows lowered, but he never looked away. “Jesus… Nero… I’m so sorry, that’s horrific.”
Nero’s blood kept boiling no matter how hard he tried to push his emotions away. “He stood over me and had me cut off his dick. And then made me prepare it like… based on some sort of recipe. It was in a pan. Because, you know, I clearly couldn’t get enough of cock.” He scowled when his voice cracked. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”
“You had no alternative, it wasn’t something you chose to do.”
Nothing could be more soothing than Miguel’s touch. Even when he accidentally moved his palm over the scratches on Nero’s back, the stinging sensation it caused reminded Nero of how real Miguel was, how tangible and open to him.
A part of Nero wanted to take it all back. To run and not have to face this man who knew way too much about him. But instead, he leaned into the touch and hugged him. “I was vegetarian for a while after that. To this day, I don’t eat any pork. It just tastes too... similar.”
“I’m so glad he’s dead. When we met him together and he punched you, I was on the verge of splitting him open right then and there. He will never hurt you again.”
Nero smirked and kissed Miguel’s forehead. “You didn’t wait long to get the job done.”
His secret was out. And despite often hiding it even from himself, Nero was relieved that Miguel knew what he was and didn’t reject him. Their demons had found comfort in each other.
“I’m sorry I didn’t clue you in back then, but I couldn’t let him survive.”
Nero sighed and rested his forehead against Miguel’s, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. “You had no good reason to trust me at the time. We both know I’m a prick.”