Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 74844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
“No, El, he wants you to be with you,” Clara insists.
“He always asked about you,” Ciaran adds, and Dimitri agrees.
“Anytime we were with him, he would ask Austen too.”
Austen nods and points to her fiancé. “I didn’t even put two and two together until Coleson said you two had been hooking up.”
“I’ve known him my whole life, and he doesn’t get hung up on girls. But he seems pretty damn hung up,” Ciaran says, leaning into Louisa.
“He’s a sweet guy, and you care for him. Give him a chance,” Louisa says, looking at me. “And if he’s a jackass, I’ll kill him.”
Eliza nods. “Like I said, I know all the bears. Coleson doesn’t let them eat me, so I’m sure they’re hungry.”
“Not that you need a man. You’ve got us,” Clara adds quickly.
“But if you have a chance at a happily-ever-after, take it,” Louisa says, our hopeless romantic through and through.
“But no matter what, you and that baby will be loved by us.” Austen leans forward, cupping my face. “Always by us.”
Tears spill over my cheeks, and I find that I’m too emotional to even form words. A sob breaks from me, and soon, I’m enveloped in a big hug, all my sisters wrapping their arms around me, their lips to my cheeks, temples, and forehead. Clara is the first to lift my shirt, and she squeals when she sets eyes on my little bump.
“I love you, little bit! I’m Aunt Clara!”
Austen rubs my belly. “I’ll be AA, Aunt Austen. It works.”
“I’m Grammy,” Louisa giggles, and such pride burns in my sister’s gaze.
“Does that mean I’ll be a grandpa?” Ciaran asks, and she grins back at him.
“A sexy, hot grampy.”
Clara gags as Eliza leans in, cupping my belly. “You’re so little!” I can only nod, the emotion too much, before Eliza says to my belly, “And I have no clue what I’ll be, but I’m going to love the heck out of you.” Eliza pokes my belly button, and I giggle before her eyes meet mine. “Just as I love you.”
A sob breaks from me as I wrap my arms around my sister, hugging her close. Against her ear, I whisper, “I love you all, so much.”
And knowing that love that my sisters give me freely only strengthens my belief that my baby will be loved. I know Alex will love and be there for his child, but I can’t romanticize our situation.
I know the truth.
I can only ever be his baby mama.
CHAPTER 14
Alex
My knuckles pause a mere inch from Elliot’s apartment door.
I take a deep breath.
I let it out.
Then I roll my tongue against my teeth.
As much as I want to kick this door down, envelop Elliot in my arms, and bury my nose in her hair, I’m terrified.
I don’t want to accept it; I don’t even want to give it light, but I feel like she’s going to push me away again. That she’ll want to raise the kid as partners but keep all the romance out of it. Keep this need that burns between us at bay. Not allow us what we want.
Each other.
I spent all night tossing and turning, trying to answer all my questions myself. I understand her fear. Though she’s never told me, I know she’s been hurt. More than once. I know she doesn’t have a relationship with her mom and dad, only her sisters. So, I’m sure there’s some parental trauma there, and while I have my own, hers seems a bit more gut-wrenching. I don’t think she’s ever been loved correctly by a man. I highly suspect she doesn’t know what love from a man is like, and while I’m not a pro, I want to be.
For her.
I gaze at the door, my hand still hanging there as I will myself to knock. I have all these needs inside me. Desires that are overwhelming. I want to touch her and feel my child kick. I want to be there when she finds out what we are having. I want to help buy things and decorate our child’s space. I have all these dreams of what I’ll do if it’s a boy—teach him hockey. And if it’s a girl—teach her hockey. I want to do all the things my father didn’t do, but most of all, I want to be in love with my child’s mother.
I don’t do dreams; I make memories.
But I don’t know if Elliot will allow me, or even herself, to make them.
I let my eyes drift shut, and then I knock, knowing I’m unable to hold off any longer. I hear movement before the door opens, and she stands before me. Her long, rich brown hair is down in wavy curls, flowing along her shoulders. She wears no makeup, but I know she’s used some ChapStick because her lips are shiny. She has on a dress that is flowy, but unlike everything else I’ve seen her in, this dress allows her stomach to show. Just barely, but I can see it.