Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 100441 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100441 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
We go through a few stalls before Kaylee drags us to a bigger store. There’s a whole section of Pride ears, and I am so here for it.
Kaylee picks the black Minnie ears with a rainbow bow.
“Good choice,” I tell her.
“What are you going to get?”
“Hmm …” I tap my chin. “I don’t know. What do you think I should get?”
“This!” She takes a red hat with rainbow ears off the stand.
“Ooh, I like it. But I think this would look better on Daddy.” I’m probably lucky Ryder’s wearing dark glasses and I can’t see what I presume is a glare.
Ryder doesn’t hesitate. He ditches his current hat and dons the red Mickey one.
I turn back to the wall of possibilities. “I think I want one with a bow.”
“They’re Minnie’s ears,” Kaylee says.
“So?”
“So they’re for gi—”
Ryder glares at his daughter. “Finish that sentence, bub. I dare you.”
She turns to Ryder. “You mean boys can wear Minnie ears?”
“Anyone can wear whatever the hell they want.” I put on a fully sequined rainbow pair of ears with a bow.
“You look very pretty.” Kaylee’s serious voice makes me smile, and I pat her head.
“So do you.”
The cashier doesn’t even blink at my chosen ears, but she does do a double take when she hands Ryder’s credit card back.
We’re quick to move on and hope the look she got of him was too quick to make a definite identification.
“What ride are we hitting up first?” Ryder asks.
“Ariel ride! Ariel ride!”
“And she’s off,” I say.
Her little legs work overtime toward the Ariel ride.
“Just so you know,” Ryder says, “we’re gonna spend most of today on this damn ride.”
I start singing “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid.
Ryder shakes his head at me, but he’s so fighting a smile.
Even though I fight it all day, I can’t help the overwhelming feeling of family I get when I’m with Ryder and Kaylee.
It makes me see a future with both of them in ways I’ve never pictured with anyone before.
And despite Ryder being recognized a handful of times, everyone is surprisingly respectful.
He does his trick of being nice and voluntarily taking selfies so they’re less inclined to post candids on social media of the three of us hanging out.
When I ask him if he’s worried they’ll post photos of me and people will speculate who I am, he waves me off.
“You are her nanny. They can’t dispute that.”
And I realize that in any sort of relationship with Ryder, I will always be Kaylee’s nanny to everyone else. Nothing more.
It’s not something I’m entirely comfortable with even though I understand it. It’s hiding a part of me I promised myself I wouldn’t when trying to make it big in Hollywood.
Ryder does everything to protect his daughter, sometimes too much, but Ryder coming out would put Kaylee in the spotlight. Not only her, but questions about her paternity, about Maggie, and about the whole dynamic they’ve managed to keep close to the vest. There’s no denying that.
And when Kaylee starts to lag by midafternoon and she asks me to carry her on my back, not her dad, my own overwhelming sense of protectiveness for this little girl makes me realize I would willingly do anything for her too.
Even step back into a closet.
Ryder checks the rearview mirror and smiles. “She’s out cold.”
I turn, and my heart melts a little. She’s still got her Minnie ears on. Her face has been painted with blue and white snowflakes—Elsa inspired, of course—and she looks so tiny and small in her big booster seat. “She’s adorable. Today was a good day.”
He reaches over and squeezes my thigh. “It was a great day. Thank you for coming with us.”
“Thanks for letting me hang out with you guys. I know why you don’t want to tell her about us yet, but I appreciate you still including me.”
“Do you think …” Ryder purses his lips.
My heart thuds a little harder. “Do I think what?”
“Never mind. I was going to ask if you wanted to come back to my place after your gig again tonight, but Calabasas is out of the way, and I’ll probably be asleep again.”
“I can do one better.”
I take out my phone and shoot off a text, knowing the answer will be yes.
“What’d you just do?”
“I gave my set time away to Alex, the bartender guy. He’d jump at the chance to take a weekend slot.”
“You gave up your gig for me?”
“Honestly, after today, having dinner and chilling with you in front of the TV sounds a hell of a lot better than singing in a rowdy bar. Who knew Disneyland was so exhausting? And we didn’t even stay for the fireworks.”
Ryder laughs. “You loved it. I swear you were more excited than Kaylee when you saw the real Mickey Mouse!”
I take off my Minnie ears and mutter a half-hearted “Shut up.”