Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 44725 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 224(@200wpm)___ 179(@250wpm)___ 149(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44725 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 224(@200wpm)___ 179(@250wpm)___ 149(@300wpm)
Jax must’ve said something to Lola because she’s far more distant and respectful when she brings out our food. As we eat, Jax tells me about his travels, going to Malta and Berlin and all over the world, a notebook in his hand and ideas sparking in his mind.
“It sounds incredible,” I murmur, “but doesn’t it ever get lonely?”
“It never used to,” he replies, cutting into his steak.
“What changed?”
He looks oddly boyish as he turns to the water, studying the dappled surface as if he can’t look at me. When he turns back, there’s fresh intensity in his eyes.
“You,” he says.
I laugh. It must be a joke I don’t understand.
“I’m serious,” he goes on. “I never needed a travel companion because I couldn’t imagine a woman I’d want to spend that much time with. Definitely not Lola, before you get any silly ideas.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so melodramatic.”
“You’ve got no reason to apologize, but you need to know you’re not that nervous girl in high school anymore. You’re a kickass writer, a kickass student, and a kickass person.”
Clearly not a kickass daughter.
“So you’re saying you can imagine traveling with me?”
“I am,” he says seriously, ignoring my joking tone. “When I picture going abroad again, I see you at my side, but that’s not because I want to travel again. I’ve been doing more and more research online, and much of my travel isn’t necessary.”
“So, what are you saying?”
He shrugs again with that shifty look. “I may not have to leave the States so much in the future.”
“That will make any future girlfriends happy,” I say.
It’s a petty arrow to fling in his direction, but he catches it with ease.
“You should look in the mirror and ask her.”
“You’re saying I’m going to be your girlfriend?”
“Why is that so shocking?” he replies fiercely. “I want to be with you. I’ve made no secret about it.”
We eat quietly for a couple of minutes as I try to process his words and imagine a world without a secret hanging between us. There isn’t the thought of Mom and Jax kissing or doing more, and then… and then nothing, a black hole in knowledge, devouring any hope for the future.
“That’s why Lola has backed off,” Jax says. “When she brought our drinks, I told her you were my girlfriend.”
“Really?” I say, my voice giddy, but I don’t care. “How did she respond?”
He smirks. “She didn’t look pleased.”
“I guess that explains why she suddenly turned so cold.”
“I bet you’re right.”
“Is it sadistic that makes me a little happy?”
“Don’t lie,” he grins. “It’s more than a little, isn’t it?”
I sit up, tossing my hair.
“Yes, it is. I’m not ashamed of it. I’ve never felt like I belong, but with you, I feel like I have a place.”
“That’s because you do.”
He reaches across the table, gently brushes my hair from my face, and then cups his hand, cradling my cheek. The warmth of his hand is a feeling I’ll never tire of. I lay my hand atop his, applying more pressure so his warmth presses against me.
“Do you think we can eat one-handed?” I say. “I want to stay like this.”
He chuckles. “We can try.”
I almost lose it when he begins cutting into his steak just with the knife, no fork to hold it, the juices swilling across the plate.
“Okay, okay,” I say, laughing. “I think we need to eat first.”
“Yeah, eat first and then head back to the city for dessert.”
I lower my gaze. Cruel nerves cut through me, threatening to shatter the moment.
“I’m sorry, Zoey. I don’t want to push. It’s just so hard not to get carried away with you.”
I’m so tired of being this weak thing. This scared woman. Always wondering if I’m good enough. I look him squarely in the eye, putting on my brave face. “I want it,” I tell him. “I can’t think of a better dessert.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but if you do want this, I’ll break every damn speeding limit in the state to get you home, or we can find a hotel nearby. An expensive, lavish one… one befitting a queen.”
“A queen? Is that what I am?”
“To me, you’re more than that. There isn’t a title that does you justice.”
My heartbeat tries to ruin this. Tries to throttle my words, resolve, lust, and everything else, but I’m not the scared girl Lola made me in high school.
I’m not the silly kid with the crush. I’m a woman now, and I want this.
“Well, in that case, this queen would very much like to—”
The blaring of my cell phone cuts off my words. I reach into my pocket to set it to silent, but fresh guilt spreads through me when I see Mom’s name.
“It’s Mom. Do you mind if I answer?”
He shakes his head.