Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 130159 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130159 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
A shocked expression froze Zach’s face. “You really do understand. Wow. I didn’t think anyone did. I know my brother tries.”
“And you have in common the loss of Messiah City and a way of life that shaped you. But let’s be real. He walked out in a fit of anger and teenage rebellion over a girl he felt guilty about but never loved. You made the grim choice to turn your back on everything, despite being an adult. And you didn’t merely leave, you destroyed everything to ensure those horrible elders could never hurt anyone again.”
Zach scoffed. “You make me sound like a saint. I’ve known for years that they were sick and wrong, but I didn’t have the courage or strength to buck their system. I counted myself lucky to be the Messiah’s brother. I believed that would keep me and my family safe, so if I just kept my head down and pretended not to notice what was going on…”
“They would leave you alone? Yeah, it never ends up that way. Evil always comes after what’s good.”
“Something I learned the hard way.” Zach nodded. “How long does this horrible hollowness last?”
The one question Seth had really hoped Beck’s brother wouldn’t ask. Still, he couldn’t be less than honest. “It never goes away. I wish I could tell you something that would make you feel better. Give you some light at the end of the dark tunnel. But no. First, you learn to breathe again. Then you learn to go through the motions until, one day, you realize that you’re living without them. And that’s okay. It’s not the life you had before. Nothing will bring that back. But sometimes…” Seth gripped the steering wheel and gave him the unvarnished truth. “Sometimes you find something even better. And it hurts like hell to admit that, but I can sit here today and tell you that I’m incredibly happy sharing Heavenly with your brother. She is the perfect woman for me, and your brother… Well, I’ve got four of my own, but Beck has become a different sort of brother. I can’t explain it. I just know that my life is better for loving them. So believe that something good will come your way, too.”
Zach shook his head. “I’m not looking to find love again.”
Seth gave him a wry smile. “Yeah, I said the same thing, too. And you’ve already got your hookup game down. Good for you. I mean that. Sincerely. It will get you through the next few months at least, maybe the next few years. But I’m telling you, there will come a point when you meet someone who will change your mind. You can fight it all you want…but that need for her will win.” When he saw Zach’s doubt, Seth shrugged. “But you’re a while from that.”
The other guy nodded. “A long while. You found Heavenly and my brother, and I’m happy for you all. But if I’m honest, I wasn’t eager to get married the first time. I doubt I’ll do it again.”
Seth didn’t argue, but he knew better. Someday, Zach would want his life to mean something, and he would want someone to share it with. “Understood. I just wanted to let you know that, if you ever need someone to talk to or have any questions about grieving and healing or whatever…I’m here.”
Zach looked surprised. “And that won’t bother or upset you anymore?”
He couldn’t lie and say he’d never be upset by trekking into dark memories again, but… “I’ve worked through a lot, even in the last few months. When you first lost your family, I saw your face. I knew what you felt. It brought all that back for me. But now I realize how far I’ve come, and that I can help get you to a better place—if you need.”
“Thanks.” Beck’s brother nodded. “I appreciate that. And I know this conversation couldn’t have been easy for you.”
“Fu—” Seth cleared his throat. “I mean, no. I was sweating bullets. But…it wasn’t too bad.” He gave Zach a mock punch on the shoulder. “Just like your brother, I guess you’re not half bad.”
“I’ll pretend there’s a compliment in there somewhere.” A sly smile curled Zach’s lips.
“Maybe a little.” Seth reached onto the dash between them. “Donut? If you don’t take your pick now, Beck will eat them.”
“Will he?”
“Oh, for a doctor, Beck has a surprisingly hard-core sweet tooth. I’m telling you, eat your favorite now. Once we get there, I can’t guarantee you’ll get anything but crumbs.”
“I’m fond of these apple fritters.” Zach filched it and took a big bite.
“Just like your brother. I’m swiping this Boston cream. Let’s not tell anyone. Just…mix those around. No one will know.”
With a conspiratorial glint in his eyes, Zach did. “Our secret.”
Just like all the feelings they grappled with following their respective losses. No one else would understand anyway.