Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71348 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 357(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 238(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71348 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 357(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 238(@300wpm)
Rachel has always had an expressive face when she chooses to show what she’s thinking, and I can read her loud and clear. She knows I don’t want to leave Jameson. She knows I’m cutting a part of myself away by doing so and returning home.
And she knows it’s her fault for not stepping up to the plate to be a mother.
“Don’t even look at me like that,” I say as I lean across and take her hand. “Your choices have nothing to do with me. And I spent a great deal of time telling my parents how much I admire you for giving of yourself so I can have this baby. I’m good, Rachel.”
To my surprise, Rachel scrambles across the couch and pushes herself onto my lap. She loops her arms around my neck and rests her head on my chest. “I wish I were braver. I wish I could grab onto this the way you have.”
I bring my hand to the back of her head, stroking a thumb over her hair and just holding her to me. “You’re one of the bravest people I know. Making the decision to follow your heart… to keep your career. That’s a brave decision, Rachel.”
She makes a sound deep in her throat that tells me she doesn’t believe a word I’m saying. But I don’t try to press the point home, because frankly, I want Rachel really thinking about this.
Again, it goes back to regrets. I’m afraid she’s going to have massive ones, and one thing I’ve come to learn about this woman is that when she goes all into something, she puts her soul on the line. I’m afraid her soul is going to get crushed when she realizes one day what she’s lost.
Rising from the couch, I cradle Rachel in my arms and walk back to my bedroom. “No more talking,” I tell her. “We have better things to do.”
Rachel lifts her head slightly to press her lips to my throat. She doesn’t say anything, just nods in agreement, and that’s good enough for right now.
CHAPTER 18
Rachel
My eyes flutter open. For a moment, I’m completely disoriented. Then I take in the warm body behind me and the arm locked around my stomach.
I feel Bodie’s breath on my shoulder. Strong and steady.
Just like Bodie.
Most of our hookups have been at The Wicked Horse, but last night was a bit different. When he asked me to stay, I didn’t feel compelled to run.
A rumble in my belly has me taking stock of the morning situation. No nausea, which is happening less frequently, and a full bladder.
That means bathroom first and raiding Bodie’s fridge second. Maybe I’ll cook us breakfast.
When I roll out of bed, I’m surprised to see it’s close to 9:30. I never sleep that late, but then again, Bodie and I didn’t get a lot of rest last night either. The memories make me smile, and I reconsider waking Bodie up with my mouth before eggs and bacon.
Bodie’s house only has one bathroom set between the two bedrooms. It’s small, and the decor and fixtures date back to the 80s. Because we make such good money, most of the people at Jameson spend their money on fancy houses, cars, or other toys. Not Bodie, though.
He drives a truck that’s probably at least five years old, and this house is nothing to write home about. I’m not surprised. He just doesn’t seem like a frivolous guy, but that’s not to say he won’t throw money around. Him paying two thousand for us to have use of the room at The Wicked Horse speaks volumes.
I’d thrown one of Bodie’s t-shirts on in the early morning hours after the last time we fucked, as well as slipped my panties back on. I’m totally comfortable in my nudity, but for whatever reason, I’ve never felt comfortable sleeping without some clothes on. Bodie teased me about it while he stayed completely naked when we finally decided to get some sleep. He told me that was the “soldier” in me, always wanting to be ready should danger sneak up and catch me unawares.
I hike Bodie’s t-shirt up since it swallows me, and then pull my panties down. As I sit on the toilet, still a little groggy from the heavy and very comfortable sleep I had in his arms, my gaze lands on the crotch of my underwear that’s stretched between my knees.
It takes me a moment to understand what I’m looking at, but once I do, I can’t control the piercing shriek that comes out of my mouth.
“Bodie!”
I hastily grab toilet paper and wipe, my heart absolutely shriveling as it comes away with some light pink blood on it. Same color as the tiny spots in my panties.
Bodie comes crashing into the bathroom, still naked and hair sticking up all over the place. “What’s wrong?”