Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“I don’t care about Derek or Gary right now. I’m talking about you. You just fought my ex-boyfriend in a club. Some of what he said was true, Cody. I did shoot a porn in LA. I was high and broke and—”
“And I’ve sucked off people I didn’t know in alleys and bathrooms for a fucking hamburger. Who gives a shit? It made me who I am and all that shit. It made you who you are too, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with the person you are.”
His breath catches. His body trembles. I don’t want to push him. Don’t want him to think I went there tonight to screw up his date and then fought his ex because I’m some lovesick puppy, so I try to playfully lighten the mood. “My hand hurts. I think I forgot how to punch. Remind me of this next time I think I’m going to kick some guy’s ass in a club, okay?”
Hayden groans. “I’m sorry. I feel bad.”
“I’m kidding. It doesn’t hurt that bad. I’m fine.”
He nods and then says, “Come on, I’ll…I’ll help you get ready for bed.”
“Okay, well…I’m obviously not going to say no to that.”
He turns out the lights and then we walk to my room. “I didn’t even get one dance in tonight,” I say as we step inside. Hayden kneels on the floor and starts to untie my shoe.
“You don’t have to do that,” I tell him.
“I know,” he replies.
“But you do look sexy down there.”
He chuckles. I let him take off my shoes for me. Then he unbuttons and unzips my jeans and helps me pull them off, before standing and removing my shirt next. I fall to the bed and pat the space next to me.
Hayden doesn’t hesitate to lie down. He’s hurting. I know he is.
He puts his head in the crook of my arm and I ask, “You okay?”
“Kind of.…It sucks, hearing someone you used to care about, someone who you tried to make it work with say those things to you.”
“That’s his problem. You know that, right?”
Hayden nods. “I do. Doesn’t change the fact that it sucks. Am I proud of every decision I’ve made? No. But I know I’m a good person. And I won’t let him make me feel bad about the things you and I have done either.”
A weight that I hadn’t realized sat in the middle of my chest disintegrates at that.
“I wasn’t trying to follow you tonight. Want to make sure you know that. Travis wanted to go out. I was fine with where you were and what you were doing.” And I was. We’re not committed. He should be exploring what’s out there.
When he doesn’t reply, I add, “Sorry your date got ruined, boo.”
Hayden shifts, rolls over, and looks at me, his eyes intense and those damn glasses sliding down his nose. Jesus, he’s fucking sexy.
“I’m not,” he tells me. “I mean, I didn’t want that shit to happen with Lance, but I’m not sad my date got messed up. The whole time I was with Sebastian, I realized I wanted to be with you.”
“Yeah?” I ask with a grin. “Well, I can’t blame you.”
He looks at me for a moment, and I wait for Hayden to reply.
25
Hayden
“I was being serious, Cody,” I say.
He frowns. It reminds me of how he looked at the bar. Usually, he’s all smiles. Cracking jokes. Or so laid back, like he doesn’t give a shit about anything. Tonight was the first time I’ve seen him that intense.
I’m appreciative, though. He can’t know how much that meant to me.
I sit up, glancing down at him.
“I told you I was already starting to feel something for you,” I say. “But tonight, it went a lot further. That meant a lot to me when you stood up for me after Lance was being a total asshole. Feels like I spent all that time with him defending myself. Every time he’d get back from a work trip, he’d accuse me of messing around on him. Start going through my phone. He was always paranoid. If I had a nice night out and someone looked at me too long, suddenly I was an asshole. It was nice to have someone defending me for a change. And you haven’t just been there for me tonight. You’ve been there for me through all this bullshit. Like as a friend, but more than that at the same time.”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s been more than nothing to me. There are a lot of parts in my life I don’t like to talk about. A lot of mistakes I’ve made. When Lance found out about some of them, he was done with me. When you found out, you didn’t give a shit. It didn’t make you think less of me as a person.”